Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Wow! I have been tagged!

Hello friends! I hope you are ready for TMI

OK...these are the rules...

The rules of the game are:
A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself
C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs
D). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1.) I once stabbed a pimp in the thigh (I was aiming for his crotch and NO I didnt work for him. I worked as a waitress in a club he frequented) when I was living in New York about 15 years ago. I had to leave the state because he threatened to kill me if he ever found me. I later heard that he died. I wish that I could have danced at his funeral....Soul robbing fucker! Pimps are fucking Vampires not heroes!
2.) I have never smoked a cigarette. Ever. I hate the smell and wont date a man who smokes cigarettes. ( I like the smell of Black and Milds though---Go figure)
3.)I like exotic foods. Everywhere I travel (especially abroad) I try EVERYTHING that is intended for consumption! People tell me all the time that I will die from some strange ass meal I ate in some Third World Country one day! (Hell at least I will be traveling! :) When I was England I ate Haggis and in Jamaica I ate all sorts of strange hell. Cast iron stomach though. Never got sick.
4.) I just spent and UNHEARD of amount of money putting a down payment on an early 2009 trip to AFRICA in a service capacity. Yep! I did it! No more sheer lip service. My friend "The Sarge" helped me set up a few things to stay safe while there for the 4 to 6 months so I feel pretty confident and at ease!
5.) Next Friday I will be meeting with a travel agent again to set up my Trip to Italy for 2 weeks in 2008. I will also be visiting Arizona in January for hiking trip down the Grand Canyon, A trip to Portland to talk with a potential publisher and some musicians interested in being a part of a black science fiction series and a trip to Atlanta for recreation ( I may even hit up that Bloggers Conference advertised on African American Opinion Blog). I am not going to put anything else on hold until some so-called "Right Time". Right now is the right time and so I am about to get my globe trot on!
6.) I was a virgin until I was nearly 20 years old. It was about 2 weeks before my 20th birthday and I was the last of my friends to have sex (it was with my highschool sweetheart) what can I say, I was a nerd and he was a gymnast (hot damn! I have to thank Fred for teaching me early what Good, Uninhibited sex was way back when. My subsequent lovers should thank this brother too...)
7.) I have 3 tattoos and a tongue piercing (yes the piercing is for one of the reasons you think. Hell I'm grown and I have grown folks sex, er'time! LOL). I am getting a tattoo for Winter Solstice (Christmas) on my back and another one on my ankle. I love body art and body adornment (a relic left to us from our African Ancestors).

Bonus:I will never again have a relationship that is devoid of sexual intimacy (doesnt necessarily have to be penetration but we have to make contact. Period). I know it sounds odd coming from a woman but I have learned a little something about myself. I need and crave contact. and I love the act of making love. The connection that comes with trust and respect through physical contact is one I can not and will not ever do without again.

I wont tag anyone because I think that almost everyone has been tagged. This was fun! I am gonna have to bite off of Don and start doing my list of likes and dislikes to break up my sci-fi scheme!

I am dealing one cool ass bunch of bloggers around here! Thanks for including an off the wall sister like yours truly....
Be safe and be true y'all. Karma is making house calls---

The Waters of Life Renew Us---

One evening last week I thought about the beach. I never figured out how or why my mind wandered to the vastness of our mother's waters---The waters of life. I took a road trip to the beach over the weekend with friends and was reaffirmed, renewed and rejuvenated...
There I was bobbing gently in that womb, with our distant kin thriving on her fertile floor. At first I worried. I worried About a multitude of things which were ultimately tantamount to nothing. I wondered if creature kin of this ocean would know me as an intruder--coming to rob their mother of her bounty--to snatch from them their sacred kin...My apprehension was my own creation. I began to flail, my head slipped beneath the water and I fought against this. Why? I did not want to see what lived beneath those waters---I wanted to hide from the layers beneath my skin.
What at all could be more important in that space than our connection to ourselves through our creator?
Not the liars who lie to us and to themselves.
Not the false realities we cling to in order to hide from ourselves and our destinies.
Not the fears we harbor, real or imagined that stifle and haunt us.

We were meant for more, you and I. The sheer randomness of life and death should push us to examine our lamentations for what they are. A cache of rich life experience given to us free of charge by the waters of life, the creator, the mother, the father and the universe. I reflected on these things in myself and saw where my scars had been healed and my fresh wounds were already being dressed-- By love. Old, burgeoning, new, but all so real. I was at once ashamed of how very absorbed I had been by failing. At one point I had begged misfortune to stay with me. It was a fleshy and greasy mess and I could not see myself without its misery. I wasted so much time but the waters were understanding of my faux pas. I was at once forgiven even though I myself do not possess this gift in the immediate for those who misstep with me. Growth, real growth is not the chance to pass my garbage to my offspring. Mine is the knowledge that I am responsible for my own success not in proof of procreation. Children are a luxury which become necessity in their arrival. What a gift and what an obligation. They must be fed, nurtured, kept safe and lastly cast out to become the progenitors of a new existence. All this I thought in the bobbing of the oceans cradle--rocking in the haven of a safe and healing bosom.
I kicked my legs and noticed the brilliant silvery blue of a graceful fin. I released a startled shriek that was music to the atmosphere. Silky limbs were my arms and a sleek, toned stretch of grace and beauty captured my breasts and torso...I was this too. A grand and adaptable creation---US. We walk through the jungles of her surface--proud and conquering, we soar through her winds and breezes regal and driven, and we glide with the waves of her waters like the Sirens of the seas.
I heard whispers***Be limitless. Do not settle out of fear and do not pass your limitations on to our coming generations.

Yes I took this photo...I took a number of them, a few of which I can not include because they have been sold to a local magazine. Yep, that is what happened when I dropped the dead weight and let go of the fear....
And so I am. As are you. So that we can be ______. (fill in the blanks)
Thank You (my sincerest reverence and thanks for this gift and this light)
This part is sorta of a nerd moment and may not be of particular interest to anyone but myself but I want to write about it---
You know, I recently had a conversation about Jazz. Real jazz. Like discussions of music as social commentary and fusion as an attempt to evolve. Then there was the discussion of Nina Simone's sugar bowl and How Good She Felt at one time or another. There was talk of Treemonisha at which time I asked the whereabouts of her Remus, the whereabouts of my own Remus as well....
....There was talk of Languages as bridges and barriers, women as victim or survivor. Very nice Sir and I curtsy and demure to your friendship and conversation. Thank you kindly and always feel free to say Howdy! ;) hahahaha

hat is all for now friends. I promise more sci-fi next time....
Stay peaceful and above all else be True. Karma will visit us all in her own good Time.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Enter the Pixie. The Sable Sovereign Has Some Serious Questions To answer!

(This Seems Long but it is almost all action) Alright y'all! I was listening to NWA and was inspired by the lyrics of a certain song. This is what happens when we let our imaginations mix with minds and lives of those who inspire our rawest emotions. The Sovereign is not going to like this one bit. I can guarantee you that!
I walked up the stairs to my apartment and felt the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Something was different. Not altogether wrong but not quite right either. There was a discernible beat bouncing down the hall that led to my tiny little piece of Eden ( an Eden I have the Sable Sovereign to thank for). "It must be Sable flipping through my music collection," I thought as I walked on. But then I noticed that the music was not the neo-soul and classic R&B that so moved Sable. This music was different. It was Protest music. Angry and rage driven and NOT of the Sovereign's choosing.

" When I'm called off, I got a sawed off
Squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off!
You too, boy, if ya fuck with me
The police are gonna hafta come and get me
Off yo ass,that's how I'm goin out
For the punk motherfuckers that's showin out"
(Ice Cube...Straight Outta Compton)

I thought that maybe I should turn back but something compelled me, beckoned me forward. I placed the key in the lock and the door swung up and landed against the wall with snap. The scene inside my newly transformed Eden made me drop my bags along with my jaw. The ivy walls had been replaced by crystal deposits that looked suspiciously like diamonds. The floor was hard and unforgiving. Every step made me want to move faster. I felt decisive. I felt....aggressive. I walked through a narrow corridor of jagged jewels of amythest and sapphire deposits. The beauty of the scene made me reach my hand out to touch the splendor. I ran my had over the jems and noticed the trail of blood from my fingers now stained the priceless walls. I heard an unfamiliar voice. It was young and inviting but not as seductive as the Soveriegn's.
"They are beautiful but deadly. What do you think? Much better than that old world shit that Sabela is so fond of, right?"
"You heard me. This shit is nice right?"
"Who are you? Did you come through that place that Midas came through?"
"Midas was here!?" She was next to me in a flash gripping my throat. My back was pressed against the jeweled wall and I felt the wet, hot blood from my back stain my blouse.
"He left," I managed to croak out. "They fought and he left."
She released me and let me drop like a sack of potatoes to the too hard ground. I clutched at my throat and gasped for air while she paced back and forth before me with her hands on hips adorned with matching blades. From head to toe she was black leather. Real leather. Likely from an animal she had overtaken, skinned and cured herself. Her dreds swung past her knees and were adorned with all manner of cowrie shells and golden threading. She was just as dark as Sable and twice as radiant. Her skin shone like freshly polished obsidian. She was gorgeous but I didnt have the urge to engage her as I had engaged the Sovereign. She was not predictable by any measure. She was unstable, which I liked but she was quick to pop off and I did not like that.

"Hey, uhm, I dont know what is going on but Sable aint here and neither is Midas. Who are you?"
She turned on a dime and stared into my eyes. My back felt better instantly. She grabbed a rough fistful of my hair and pulled me to my feet. She moved back to get a full look at me before she spoke.
"I apologize. I am the Pixie. What are you supposed to be?" She looked me up and down and was decidedly disappointed. "You're no warrior, that I I know." The sour look finally left her face. She stalked toward me, planted a palm on my shoulder and gave me a shove that sent me nearly halfway across the cave.
"Hey! What the hell? You know this is my house and I dont know where you come from but here manners freaking count lady!" I spoke with a bravery I didnt really feel but I figured acting all weak would just piss her off. She blinked and drew her blade.
"Run. NOW!" Her command made me move backward away from her instinctively. I froze when she began a full on sprint toward me now with both blades in hand. I threw my right arm across my face in a defensive pose, my eyes squeezed tightly shut. I heard a yell and the clanging of weapons but felt no impact. When I opened my eyes I was assaulted with the scene of the Pixie in full battle motion against five similarly dressed fighting women. The Pixie's blades left her hands and dispatched two of the assailants to parts unknown with the taking of their heads. Her blades met her palms again and the remaining three circled her carefully. She looked up at the ceiling and let out a terrifying cackle. The music was amplified and clear and a violent verse rumbled through the cave turned battlefield...
"Goin off on a motherfucker like that
with a gat that's pointed at yo ass
So give it up smooth
Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move."
(Ice Cube. Straight Outta Compton)

It took her a second to eliminate a third female from the mix and upon watching the body hit the ground she smiled wide. She was in her element. She felt good and I felt good too. My hands shook with her power and adrenaline. The music urged her on and she sang the lyrics as she released her blades to the sheaths at her sides and proceeded to beat bloody the last two warriors.
"See, I don't give a fuck, that's the problem
I see a motherfuckin cop, I don't dodge him
But I'm smart, lay low, creep a while
And when I see a punk pass, I smile"
(Eazy E. Straight Outta Compton)

The blood splattered the walls of the cave and coated her fist like bright red glove.

"Yeah! Let's dance bitches!" Her shout seemed to come from inside my head. I watched in awe. I wanted to help her. I wanted to be her. I wanted to eliminate. Just as I had wanted to when I watched the Sovereign fight. Only these desires from the Pixie were unruly. Dis-organized. Hot Chaos. I was home in her skin and I never wanted to leave. Reason did not rule in her realm as it did in Sable's. She made the rules as she went along and at the moment, the rule was to put the fucking smack down and leave nothing alive. She laughed again as the last woman weaved on her feet, still clutching a useless blade as the Pixie landed blow after blow against her jaw.
The Pixie shouted the last of the lyrics as a final gasped escaped the dying body of the fifth fighter...

This is the autobiography of the E, and if you ever fuck with me
You'll get taken
by a stupid dope brotha who will smother

word to the motherfucker,
straight outta Compton
(Eazy E. Straight Outta Compton)

She gave a nod and the bodies became ash on the floor. She strode through the remains and scattered them about the cave, smiling and heaving gulps of air.
"I love that fucking song! This realm will suit me just fine I think. You tell Sable I said that your training is too far behind! What's to keep others from coming for you now that the demon bitches sent your tracer back to their world?"

"What? I'm being hunted?" I wondered Why anyone or thing would be hunting me?

" Uhm Duh! What the hell has she been telling you?"

"Not that! Why! Why are things looking for me?"

"Hell, I dont know. But in Babylon, you are all the buzz. So uhm you better get up on your game sister!"

"Wait. Why do you talk like that?"

"Good Goddess! That's what you are concerned about? I mimicked the patterns of the people that look most like me on this world. Then I went through the things in your lame-assed lair. While you were nearly wetting yourself when you first saw me, I mapped your mind. Simple. Look, tell Sable I'll see her soon and you need to get your shit together. Pronto."
"What am I supposed--" before I could finish she was gone and I was terrified. I sat in a corner of the room and didn't move for hours.....
That's all for now friends! Sorry it took me so long to post but my midterm, a 25 page paper and a friend kept me busy as a bee all week....But here I am now with more Sci-Fi Fantasy for yall! So how do you like the Pixie?

Friday, October 19, 2007

Random Stuff and a Little Seriousness Releasing some Bitters

For some reason I thought that I would know what I wanted to do with my life by the time I reached my thirties. As a matter of fact I have a tattered list from my teens with itemized goals that would be all well and done by the time I hit my twenty-ninth birthday. And how important indeed the items on this list where at the time (one was to meet and marry Michael Jackson-well I was 14 years old at the time). Now there were some items on the list, although the Michael Jackson bit was the first item up for achievement.

I wanted to get married, until the idea became a reality and I swiftly removed this from my list of things to do. Not that I am against marriage, on the contrary, I think it is a wonderful state of being. My issue was with my choice or rather non-choice of mate. And so at 35, marriage is off the list, see,

Meet and marry Michael Jackson,

marriage (Not opposed to marriage just refusing to settle ever again.)

get a degree (got two and working on the Masters)

become a writer

find my father

get my clarinet overhauled (uhmm Yeah I play the clarinet and Trombone. My friend builds guitars and so I will have one of those too...)

Told you. Another item on my list was to be a writer. That's right, even at fourteen I knew I wanted to write. I knew that it would be the life for me. I would travel and write, sending my articles and musings to the overflowing cache of hungry publishers all chomping at the bit for a little something from the Femigog (aah youth ). Anyway, life and circumstances took me on a round about journey to education and far away from the writing life I wanted for myself. For my trouble there were the usual suspects that kept me from pen and page (or type writer, word processor, laptop). You know, family illness, the necessity for ANY employment at all, relationships, and any number of other concerns that take us off the path we are bushwhacking for ourselves in life. This blog marks my Exodus from the non-writer, the retail worker, the daughter who forgets herself for everyone else, into the Genesis of the writer, the scribe, the person I have always been too busy, too afraid, too lazy (oh to slay this demon) to be. I welcome her and with some elbow grease, and audacity, the world will embrace her as well.

I read a poem by MizRepresent called Destiny and it blew my mind. For real. The very next day I ran into a someone from my old highschool.

*Enter the Ton of bricks* (damn poets--shakes fist in the air)

Yep, just like that---I had hope again. Not that this bloke is the one but that there is one out there. He aint too shabby though---

I had derailed myself somewhere on my journey to ME and decided I would create or unleash another sort of self to help me attain the things that fear had paralyzed all attempts at.

*Enter The Sable Sovereign*

Now I use my voice. I insist where I used to just accept and I take responsibility for my happiness and success. No more saving boys, I will now concern myself with grown men. I never really went for your thug type fellas (I dig nerds with big hands). He needn't have buncha letters after his name but he needs to be gainfully employed and have a sense of what he wants. None of this 1 month of this and then 2 weeks of that oh and then if that doesn't work how about this? No! Decisiveness is SEXY and I like a decisive man. I think I met a decisive man this weekend....

The last guy I gave a damn about didn't half work but managed to find enough shit to do that didn't include me. He was constantly on my computer chatting with other women, telling them how beautiful they were...He never said anything positive about me ( and I gots me plenty of positives.) I cant believe I tolerated that. Do you know he actually found fault with every single thing that had to do with me?

My computer was a "piece of shit" but he was always on it (chatting with the woman he is now with I might add).

I "needed to do something about my health" but he was junk food machine,

"Houston was shit" but he never went without while he was here.

I swallowed all of that bile and let it sour me. He was bitter and the shit seeped into my skin and poisoned me. I noticed something else. He has a type. Women who work, full figured girls with a little disposable income. And maybe some self esteem or body image issues he can use to his advantage. I cant believe I missed that shit. When he left I was glad but I felt that I shouldn't be. I was supposed to want him to stay so I said that I did. That was lie, he was lie and I was at fault for not expecting and insisting on more in a mate or even in a friend. He of course owes me money and cooked up a way not to pay me back (which I knew was gonna be the case). He went on and on about betrayals and back-stabbings and how he was just gonna pretend that all those bad people were not in his life anymore. Which meant I am gonna fake a betrayl and just say I am not speaking to y'all no mo'. Boy please!

And not ONCE did he own his own shit (which I also knew was gonna be the case). You see he wanted to try to dodge the debt and gain sympathy at the same time (I knew this was gonna be the case).

Don wrote something about Good men and The men you wish you never met today and He aint never lied! I passed up real grown men and settled for a man who left absolutely nothing with me but Debt and Regret. I am absolutely no better for knowing him. And believe me I dug and dug through his bullshit to find the good and realized that he actually believes his own hype. I couldn't talk about this before now. I don't know, maybe because I was embarrassed at my own folly, my gullibility, my naivety....who knows but lately I have been meeting good men, good people and reading great writing and I know now more than ever what I want and deserve. In part I have my creative outlet to thank for the epiphany, I also have to thank the poets and writers I have been reading (The pen is indeed mightier than the sword my friends--some try to negate that fact because they don't have the goods be we know the truth).

I just released the toxins not the coming lawsuit though--grown men pay what they owe. Period. Boys who try to dodge debts get SUED! See you in Court! (In the words of Celie "Until you do right by me, everything you do is gonna fail).

That is all friends, Sci-Fi next time I promise

Be real and be true....Peace

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Evolution Revolution--The Sable One Weaves a Spell

"The brave don't live forever. The cautious don't live at all."--Shango

Thanks for allowing me to vent with my last post y'all--back to Sci-Fi/Fantasy
So I ran a mile and walked another 2 today. I really had no choice, The Sable Sovereign had put into my hands an agenda of sorts.
  • Move around, eat better
  • LIVE
  • present my new list.
I was nervous about my list. The Sable Sovereign whom I now referred to as Sable was lounging in an absurdly large bathtub of herbs and essential oils when I felt her summons. My teeth clenched and I felt the hair stand up all over my body. When I passed the threshold of the bathroom there was rush of air and then the intense heat of a flame that did not burn my skin. When I focused my vision I was freaked to find that the room was now a dense meadow filled with African violets and honeysuckle vines. The ground was so comforting beneath my retail weary legs that I took off my shoes to feel the thick mossy grass beneath my feet.

"Whoa! you know, I never know what to expect when I get home anymore Sable. How the heck do you get woods in my tiny apartment bathroom?"

"Spare me your awe over something as simple as a bath child. Now, where is your list pet?"

"Oh yeah, I uhm left it in the bedroom, Uh I'll go get it." I turned slowly to leave, all the while marveling at the surroundings I found myself in.

"this is just to much man! For real, too much!"

"Shall I wait an eternity while your tiny mind struggles in a vain attempt to understand my power or will you get to the business at hand?" Her gracelful right hand descended beneath the aromatic water in the tub. Lavendar leaves fell from the area above her into the water and the scent intensified. The smell was intoxicating and magnificent. Yeah..I thought to myself. This is how I want to do it. My expectations are the problem, way to fucking low...I jumped when she spoke again and noticed that I still had not moved to fetch my list...

"My word but you are easily stunned! No wonder you have gotten so little work done in your lifetime....The list! Now!"

"Yeah, yeah, right. I'm going."

"You should know it in your heart. It shouldnt be wasting space on a page, but should be etched in blood in your consciousness! Quickly!"

"Uhm actually now that you say that, I do know it by heart." Still I looked around in awe and absently bent my head to smell flowers. I plucked a honeysuckle blossom from a vine near me and tasted the was other worldly and I took another. A brilliantly colored lizard toddled down a blade of tall grass and saluted me with a long pink and forked tongue. I focused on the lizard as it ran the length of the grass and moved through the mossy ground. I watched until I realized that the dark stone it finally rested on was the foot of man with thighs the size of tree trunks.

"Jesus!" I jumped back to take in the size of the gorgeous behemoth.

"Excuse me," he said. His voice was a 9 ton rumble that shook loose the organs in my body. He continued..."You may call me..."

"Midas?" My voice was a whisper, damn near a whimper. "You're Midas."

"Correct. You summoned me."

"What? No I didnt! Wait. Summoned?" I turned and looked at Sable who was standing behind me in a white cotton sheath, a daisy chain halo about her head. She was radiant and shimmered in the sunlit. He had beeen looking past me at her the entire time.

"Uhm, I'll just get out of your way." I turned to walk away and found myself a second later sitting in a plush seat where Sable's tub once sat. "Oh yeah, my list. right." I took a big gulp of air and pushed out a question instead. "Other uhm, like, people can come here? To Earth I mean? Where did he come from? What's going on?" I looked at Sable and Midas as they stared at one another from opposite ends of the everchanging meadow.

He spoke. "I have been searching for an eternity Sabela...I finally picked up your tracer once I breached the council records. You should have called for me sooner."

"I never called for you!" Sable was angry. Very.

"Oh there is still time for you to scream my name once more, Kitten. Believe that. Know it."

For some reason this seemed like the best time to start my list and so I began as I watched them stalk each other--
  • I have a thing for roughnecks, hooligans, troublemakers--in short I love Cave Men! I like to be told what to do by someone who knows what to do. SOMETIMES and these men typically fit the bill in the BEDROOM. I know how it sounds but hey, I like rough. I aint passive by any stretch of the imagination.....and I dont want to be led around by the nose in any way shape for form....just saying. I like Cave Men in the bedroom and men who react well in a crisis.
A platinum battle axe materialized in The Soverign's right hand. Her cotton sheath was now replaced by an armored breast plate and a chainmail skirt with splits to the hip at both sides. Her usually bare feet were covered by leather sandals. They were crouching and circling...battle ready.

"Holy Crap! Hey! What the hell? Wait...wait-a-minute y'all!"

"we're listening mortal!" His voice was too much. My eyes teared and I saw a blur as they engaged one another. She flung her axe, he caught it and launched it back. She blinked and it spun between them. the wind whipped in the meadow that had now begun to transform into a mountainous landscape. The yawning mouths of caves appeared from nowhere and everywhere. People began to peak out of their earthen homes to watch the spectacle in what was now an arena of some sort. My chair was the grand vantage point for the match. Their armor fell away to reveal fabric tunics and loin coverings as the two made contact in a Greco-Roman style wrestling match. I screamed the rest of my list at the top of my lungs.
  • I have a thing for good old fashioned competition! Healthy sport. Winner take all but the loser wins in having the experience with the winner.
  • I have a thing for aggression. Female aggression and ambition. The push to do what people say you can't!
  • I have a thing for Touch! All forms, all ways, all shapes! Contact! Contact! Contact!
  • I have a thing for LIFE! I want a life of MY making! Of my choosing and I will gnash my teeth and claw and fight for the life I want and I will have it! NOW!
I opened my eyes, standing on a high peak, a great Scimitar in the hand raised high above my head, a fist at my side, the bones of a multitude of liars cascading down the slopes. A voice echoed in my head, blotting out all other thoughts and sounds "It's time" it growled in The Sovereign's voice...."It's time"

My head fell back and my eyes sought the heavens, I opened my mouth and let loose my battle's time

That's all for today. Be peaceful friends, be safe and be true...know that for whatever it is you want for your life that IT IS TIME. Make your move and keep moving....
Sci-Fi/Fantasy is life....

Fiction From Fact

This isnt Science Fiction although, it is part fiction...The Sable Sovereign was entertaining a "few good men" and so I thought I would catch up with some of the friends I hadn't seen for the last 6 months of wasted hell (yeah it was no picnic this way either). It was an excruciating time to say the least but I refuse to be negative. Hey, I own my own bullshit so...........let's all follow suit, shall we?
I was at a local dive, chillin and listening to some spoken word with some mugs from my youth and my old neighborhood. some Badu came on and Mutt ( his nickname) lit a clove cigarette and downed his Jose Cuervo in a fluid motion. He looked at me with those gorgeous hazel eyes (He is half black and half Irish) and leaned back in his seat.

"Aight ma' let's get at it."
I looked at my shot of Patro'n and then up at him. Ink from neck to toes, I do like my roughnecks...but Mutt aint the kinda dude you can just walk away from so I dont go there, EVER.

"Man, what? What? It's all good Mutt. You know me. I bounce back. First. Last. Always. You know how I do, boy." I slammed my shot and waved at Mike for another.

"You read that shit he wrote? I sent the Sarge (my(our) bestfriend, now in Iraq) a copy to check out. He thinks it was a threat against you. He called Doc. (Mutt's lawyer and our highschool friend) and had'im to take a copy of it it, just in case." He slammed another Cuervo. They called D to the mic and we listened. After the set the groupies was all over him. I aint mad at him, I remember my groupie days. LOL)

"I haven't read nothing he has written since I last asked him about paying me back. He aint never answer so I got Doc. the particulars and all the receipts I could find, His mail and shit too." I downed the second shot and waited for Mutt to say what I knew he would.

"Fuck that! He threatened your safety girl! Let's get dirty on his ass like he did with you." He shifted and licked his lips. Exposing the gun as subtly as he could. Damn! No wonder he stay in jail!

"Mutt! Put that fucking thing away! Are you crazy? No wonder they keep locking yo ass up! Look, that mess couldn't have been about me. I mean, hell if anything I should be plotting on his ass. I told you, I'm taking the high road and I mean it. You know I dont get down like that." I paused and looked past him at nothing in particular before continuing, "I should but I dont."

"Yeah you should."

"But I dont. So let's talk about something else. How is ya girls doing?"

"Oh they cool. They moms need help but my daughters is on point. You gonna let me hit that or what? Nate used to tell me about y'all when you was with him." I pretended not to hear him and kept talking.

"So y'all getting back together? You gonna make an honest women out of her soon?"

"Man, that shit has been through and you know it. So me and you is free and clear." He leans in and finishes. "I know you got an inch that needs scratching. Ya boy told me all about ya business. You'se a freak, we know." He chuckles and winks. Mutha fuckas, gossip just like women.

"Who says men don't fucking gossip? Y'all make me sick Mutt. You, Doc and Sarge all act like a buncha hens sometimes." I downed another shot and I was feeling pretty good despite being pissed at my boys.

"I knew he was fraud. Member I told you that shit at the jump? look. Ya pockets is light and he done bitched up and went to hiding out with another purse. Fraud ass ni**a!"

"Hey man! You know I dont like that word and can we please talk about something else?!"

"Aight, but Teaky (my nickname in some circles) we knew you didn't really trust him because you never would bring him around us or your people. You ain't crazy, and you ain't Captain Save a Hoe either. You need to remember that shit for the next time you start looking for Mr. Right. Ask your boys for advice and after we convene you can proceed with caution and us watching your back." His Cuervo is gone again.

"Both of us were at fault in some way Mutt. We both grown. Hell I know I made mistakes and he certainly did too. He just aint owning it yet. So fuck it, it's his Karma not mine. subject." Still downing shots.

"Ah, for what 6 or 7 months you said you was working yourself silly, put your shit on hold, let him fuck with your head and shit. And for what? A bitch ni**a? Sheeeeiiitt! Then! He tried to throw some bullshit threats out there? Tried to blame you for him being a punk bitch? MAN! You gonna tell your brothers right?"

"Hell NO! And you aint either! I am so fucking serious Mutt! Dont fuck with me for real. I dont do tacky and I dont do running and telling. I am GROWN, this was my fuck-up and I dont want my brothers or my boys or especially the fucking SARGE and his Igged in the head military men losing they minds over some shit I shoulda been watching for. I'm taking the fucking high road Ni**a, damn! How many times I got to say that shit? Fuck me running! Let's talk about something else please! You got me in here saying the N word and shit! Next subject. Period."

"Cool. So you drunk enough yet or I need to keep buyin?"

"I'm getting there but I think I might grab a snack to absorb some of this oil!" We both laugh and he scoots his chair closer. His legs are wide and I am nearly between them, his arm is on the back of my chair.
"So, you still a freak? I know you might be rusty and all but I know you got the goods still."

"Uh real smooth Mutt. Plus I am not about to get nowhere near your crazy ass naked! And you know this!" I knock back another. And ask for hummus(no more garbage besides booze anyway).
"Dang, you back to being a vegasaurus? Shit I think you lost all the dead weight you needed to a minute ago."

"Man! Fo real Mutt. Please. Shit we both was at fault I just happened to get the monetary short end of the stick this time. He didnt want to give me closure the civil way and so....anyway, I am keeping it legal and since homegirl told me what she said to him and why, I dont even care about the other shit no mo. Man! You can't trust nobody around that camp. You know, she said that she wanted to hurt his feelings and so she just played with his ego and he bit. That fucking easy. Hell, he was IMing the chick he checking for now from my spot! While I was at work!" My booze is catching up with me. I am letting shit out that I wanted to keep in....another shot and my hummus arrives (No pita please, carrot sticks and celery though). "I really shoulda known but hell, I dont know. fuck'im. He really isnt a great person and yeah he is full of shit but still, I didnt think he would run out on his debt. I really didnt think he would ya know." The hummus is perfect. "Shit, he really bent my pockets and---"

"And then the ni**a came up with some bullshit to try throw his debt out the damn way! You know that's what he did! He prolly didnt even tell the new broad about what he owe you and how he rode you and ya girls for half a fucking year. Foul. and I know that ni**a was trying to threaten you. you need to watch that shit and let us know if things start to get strange in your camp."

"Boy stop. I am keeping it all civil and if that aint his way it aint got nuthin to do with me. So you gonna check out the Cornel West appearance at Texas Southern with me next month? Bout time I run up on some flesh and blood revolutionaries again, plus I love writers who can get the word out to folks with limited access to information. We need all kinds of revolutionaries that. So I aint gonna trip to hard on you for them firearms. But you need to keep that shit on the low."

"Fo sho'. I will hit up that West spot though. I need to holla at man over that way anyway. Anyway, back to business....So you gonna let me hit that?"

"Ni**a please! I aint never gonna get THAT drunk." If I was truly fearless I would...but hell...I like it rough but shit....we dont call this dude Mutt JUST cause he mixed...dude is feral like a stray dog...still love him though. That's my boy!

Peace Friends, stay true and stay safe...

Sci-Fi next time. I promise.

Monday, October 15, 2007

I have a thing for---

Complete that phrase at least five times and tell me what would your list look like? I posed this question to my mentor and immortal friend The Sable Sovereign and she insisted that I pen my answers before she would announce hers. I didnt want to really. I mean in comparison to a ruler, Goddess Queen even, what might my list look like? I relented and my list was as follows---
  1. I have a thing for Strong Men, but I always gravitate toward the weak ones. I am sometimes a slave to those who need saving.
  2. I have a thing for Food. The richer the better. I dont always think of what the item might do to my body as long as it tastes good.
  3. I have a thing for Good sex, though I dont always demand it.
  4. I have a thing for Loyalty, though when people betray me I dont always right them off as failed and worthless like I should.
  5. I have a thing for Nice clothes although I don't always choose flattering items for myself. I am self conscious of my body much of the time.
Upon finishing the Goddess Looked at me and graced me with a sly and hypnotic smile. She reclined on a bed of furs (all gifts from lovers and admirers), tossed her Ancient braids over her shoulder exposing perfect dark chocolate breasts. Her cat like gaze seemed to be stalking something past me and I was shook to my knees when her platinum voice seduced my ears....
My list is thirst is unquenchable as should be yours my limited little mortal.
  1. I have a "thing" as you call it, for WARRIORS. Slayers of beasts who Love like they Fight--To Conquer.
  2. I have a thing for sumptuous foods. None such as the filth I see on every corner of every Sable neighborhood in this realm of empty magick
  3. I have a thing for women of strength. Not sniveling breeders who bough and scrape at the feet of an unworthy man. I mean producers of GODS and future KINGS! Women who teach their sons how to be men and warriors when there is no man for the lessons.
  4. I have a thing for change. Adaptation is what keeps us ahead of the threats of our enemies. As they shape their weapons anew, so too should we shape our defense.
  5. I have a thing for Ambition and Aggression. The offense is the position of power. Never wait for your attacker! STRIKE first and never Relent.
Why do you adhere to rules that do not suit your disposition? Of what are you afraid? You are mortal. Doomed essentially. Why should you be a slave to a life with no passion?
  1. You shame yourself and all women when you weep for a man who wipes his feet upon you.
  2. You shame yourself and all mortals when you care not for your health and your body! How can you ride into battle with inferior armaments? If you have a death wish there are plenty of quick and painless alternatives to cultivating a body void of nutrients.
  3. You shame yourself when you don't exercise your sensuous side. Women are women for a reason. Our gifts can build a kingdom or send one to ruin. Why not use every opportunity to hone your skill and bewitch a lover?
  4. The disloyal are CUR! They are low DOGS and should be the first on your tally for retribution! how dare you risk your safety by giving them a second thought!
  5. You believe that hiding under that ridiculous garb will hide your insecurities? Please! your list shows all that you hate about yourself. Your posture. The way you speak to no one in particular when you answer a question. The way you stare at the floor when you walk. A woman's walk should simulate a beckoning finger for all passersby. It should say follow me to heaven...and to hell....what does your walk say?
You will begin this list again and you will erase all the doubt from your answers! Then we can begin our work on you. Prepare yourself for war against your demons young one. It will be a chore and a reward! You may consider it a gift. Now--Leave me! You have one quarter of an hour to produce a decent list. You will not keep me waiting! Be Gone!
Whoa! I bowed and left her tea near her as she reclined, smiling into the skylight she brought with her from parts ambiguous. My list had left me embarrassed, and I went to my own quarters to lick my wounds and make some changes.
Now what? I wondered to myself. This Ruler just dropped into my world and decided that I wasn't doing something right? How rude! I mean she is the one in exile, isn't she? Why is that? Her high-mindedness wasn't appreciated wherever she came from! And now I am the one who needs fixing?
I sat for 3 of my fifteen minutes wallowing in pity and cursing her before I realized that she was right. She had likely been exiled for the same reasons strong women here are ostracized. She had lived, loved and thought for herself and the powers that be couldn't handle it. So they made her the pariah. Women turned on her as I was now doing. I looked up at the clock and noticed that I had only 10 minutes left to complete my task. I snatched up my pen, flipped my paper over and got busy.

.....To be continued
Peace Friends, Be safe and Be true...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

A Tiny Meme Taken From Don---

10 Things I like and Dislike about being in and out of love

10 Things I dig---
  • Pure and uninhibited sex that comes from mutual interest and respect. The dirty stuff that you always wanted to try but couldn't try til you found the right partner. Especially if you like it rough....(I'm just saying)
  • Beginning a discussion of my day from the point of view of a character I made up and having my lover indulge my fantasy...(this is HUGE for me, I'm pretty damn dramatic).
  • The glow that comes from connection. Knowing that you arent in it alone is good for the esteem.
  • Someone to take care of when the mood hits. This may just be me but I was raised to be a good and domestic Southern Girl and I sometimes can't help but dig up old markers in the DNA.
  • Having one person in the world who understands that a fight is temporary. I fight with acid sarcasm and knowing that I can vent without a person falling to pieces is one of the best things about being in Love with the right person.
  • Inside Jokes! I love having a little inside thing that is just ours that makes us giggle or grit our teeth at the same time.
  • Someone to cheer me up when I hit a low (which honestly isn't often)
  • Taking liberties with someone. You know how poking fun at them in way that had you both doubled over in laughter.
  • Having a man secure enough to accept flowers from a woman! (yeah, that's how I roll)
  • Sharing their BITCHING Book collection! (I used to dig a guy whose taste in books was exquisite!)
Ten Things I DONT dig
  • New and Fresh single-ness you feel with initial breakup
  • The desperation you act on to try to re-assemble the house of cards that was the relationship.
  • Realizing how careless you had been with your heart, home and/or wallet. That naive and defeated feeling that comes with the cool light of day that clears the cobwebs.
  • The prospect of starting all over with someone new
  • the absence of physical connection-the accidental daily touches. The sex (especially if it was good)
  • Handling the minutiae of closing the Chapter. The exchange of property and the issue of future boundaries
  • Controlling emotions, fits of rage or depression with no productive way to vent.
  • Seeing them with someone new. Watching them love another harder and deeper than they ever loved you.
  • Trying to assign or dodge blame. Once the depression ends the anger sets in and you just want to be right. Especially when you KNOW that you are indeed the one who IS right.
  • Watching all your freaky secrets leave with that person and having to rely on their discretion.
This has no science fiction in it really but it is a bit of a fantasy to enter into a new relationship and to exit an old one. Like walking through a liquid barrier that leads to or from what was or will be your destiny. It is another world that we enter when we flee or run toward a coupling of any sort. Think about the shift in rules that take place when we transition into something new. I like even when it hurts but I like it. To be honest I am an optimist. I believe that all things can be endured. I think that pain and love meet and if we are lucky the love leaves the most significant marker on our souls....Well that inst fair because some pain leaves a necessary mark, but I hope we can learn from the pain caused by the choices we make and the people we love whom we leave or who leave us. sigh I guess I did sneak a little bit of fantasy in there after all....
Have a great weekend y'all and be sure to check our Bloggers Delight 2 Write for a wonderful and varied selection of writing....

Seek Peace and Be true. What we put in the universe comes back to us 3 fold.

Metaphysical Frauds and Other Paper Gods

It goes without saying that this will end in science fiction but it is based in non-fiction---
I sat up one night after the ultimate affront and read poetry to soothe my aching psyche. Now my self esteem was not utterly toppled but I had been a childish and naive woman. Infantile. I had trusted when my gut told me I was being made a husk, a dry and empty thing with a bank account to match. I am woman. I was scorned. I was infuriated. Or rather I was until I stumbled upon the words that expressed exactly what I was thinking when I ran across a catalog of bullshit...And then I received a visit from The Sable Sovereign--
When I die
when i die i hope no one who ever hurt me cries
and if they cry i hope their eyes fall out

and a million maggots that had made up their brains

crawl from the empty holes
and devour the flesh
that covered the evil
that passed itself off as a person
that i probably tried
to love--
(Nikki Giovanni)
The Sable Sovereign, who reigned for more than a thousand years, stood surveying her stolen territory. This property had been usurped and the offenders would pay dearly. Hell Hath No Fury..."how apropos" she mused...

"Suffer, you who joys in my suffering. I turned my innards out and wept blood into a dusty hard and cracked soul. Yours. Double Dealing, two-sided snake, serpent, liar, hypocrite.
how I marched hard through your waste to get to the real flesh of you.
The meat was gristle.
You were hollow and without nutrients. You are food for none. Not even fit for yourself."
The Sovereign now knew---

What is it that we do with False Gods?
You are one of ; the deceivers; the users; The so-called puppet masters.
As we have done in antiquity there will be No simple shunning or mockery for you.
The Sovereign will not turn the other cheek for it bears her tribal affiliation and she would not humiliate them further by honoring you further....that is the only right way.
It is, as the Norse ones had....your Twilight my Little Tin God.
Live hearty for now my friend--light will shine and burn the coal of your tongue to a cinder. Your own sad carcass betrays you even now as your body feasts upon itself while you sleep.
Pay what you owe or have it wrested from you before your lackeys.
I am your Shylock and I will have my pound of flesh. I will reap my harvest from you.

I am not mortal and I don't have to forgive a damn will never again pass yourself off as a King or God and you will admit your failings. You Will bow to the Sovereign and you will be better for it.
This was written about a month ago and I just got around to editing and posting it. I was in a funky place at the time and have since been soothed by my own endeavors and by the attentions of grown men. I told my tale of scorn to the Sable one and she relayed a story of her own where she did opposite of myself. She took the low road and ripped her betrayer from gullet to groin with Talons of pure Obsidian, turning the monster to dust. I had the same fantasies for revenge but opted to take the high road. My betrayer owes his debt to the universe and who am I to interfere with that kind of Divine Karma?
Be peaceful friends you never know who holds the key to your salvation...You never know who will keep your secrets---I get your Stop Snitching references now Don! I truly get it.
I took the high road....

Peace Friends

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Love Until It Hurts--Elements of my Youth.

One night I sat and drank from a cup filled by the moon. Liquid night passed over my parched lips and made a hot, heavy home in my chest, anointing my core. I could run all night off of this stuff. I closed my eyes and asked for a boon. He stood, thick, proud, angry, and mine.
The Sable Sovereign asked me if I had ever really wanted someone. Really.
"I suppose so, yeah"
No she meant really. To suppose was false to know is what she wanted.
I have said I.
Continue, she insisted and so I transcribe here what I wrote when I took up my pen

------Once when I was girl I loved so hard that my heart threatened to abandon my bony brown frame daily if I did not feed it the love of One JLR. Nightly it spoke and left angry whispers in my ear that to me sounded like the menacing grunts of monsters from fairytales. Then one day at breakfast I attempted to swallow and found that there was no room in me, for all my emotion had gathered and filled up the whole (hole) of space in my body. I looked at my mother with a start, who commanded that I eat. NOW. Hot tears fell (I have always been a dramatic one, even in my youth) and shook my head, No. To my surprise she knew and excused me from the table to be alone with my reckless and passionate heart. How I heaved in the tiny bedroom closet as I conjured images of the one I loved, whom I love still.
My years advanced and so too did my capacity for emotional control (although one might not tell from this blog). I invent lives. I create new worlds where I am Ruler and Sovereign and my lovers are always many and pleasing to me because in my waking world only one has ever pacified me (literally and otherwise). To replicate this King in fantasy would be blasphemy I think, perhaps... I could conjure no such person on my own from my mind to fill his flesh. Why not? Am I afraid that the strenght of my emotions while send to me his smell? His touch? His kiss?
I do not know and I cannot risk it. And what if it seizes me as it did in my youth? Starves me until I act (I-he-we, did indeed act, until exhaustion in most cases). This is why I have loved some in shallow ways. I have chosen those who are themselves painfully shallow. Severe and condescending lovers who see and love no further than themselves. Some I have gotten over in a matter of hours...can you imagine? To simply stop loving and know that you never did? To know that you are not even ashamed or guilty? Do you think that this is wrong? Am I wrong? I took insults and swallowed obvious fallacies so that the transition to singleness would be of no consequence...I smile even now when I think of it...I am the shrew the bards speak of in ancient texts for sure. Sovereignty is so very intoxicating. Angry passion without thought, complete with primal savagery is so appealing that I tingle at the thought of letting go of the reigns once again.
I have avoided the depth that comes with true connection because I know now as I knew then that I will become what is intended of true passion. I will become drunk and careless again. And I will LOVE every moment......
My tale pleased the Sable Sovereign and she retired for the evening to entertain a young God she calls "Shango"

Tell me friends have you loved like this? Til your hands shook at the thought of touching the fabric of their clothes.....standing close enough to catch the scent and breathe their air?
What would happen if YOU let go and loved as if no one else could see you? (this is not rhetorical my friends please answer for I am anxious to know)...

Monday, October 8, 2007

The Book Review

The Clarence Thomas memoir "My Grandfather's Son" was released on Tuesday (10-02-2007) and from what I can tell sales aren't too shabby. It sold out at our spot pretty quick. I didn't buy (I just couldn't do it y'all) it but I did read it. The book chronicle's the life of the Supreme Court Justice and traces his roots from his rural Georgia boyhood to his move to Savannah to live with his mother's father at age 7 as his mother struggled to raise them on 10 dollars a week that she earned as a maid when his father and she divorced. He talks of his Grandfather who he called "Daddy" as man with a strict work ethic who suffered many injustices in the Jim Crow south. the journey from his "humble beginnings" to his time at The college of the Holy Cross and Yale Law School culminating in his contested confirmation to The Supreme Court. The memoir includes his insights on how he achieved his success and how he wishes to pass on to a younger generation what his grandfather passed on to him as he (Thomas) raises his great nephew.

My reactions to this memoir—

Let me preface this with the admission that I read “Supreme Discomfort” by Kevin Merida and Michael A. Fletcher about Thomas, when it came out and a few key quotes include

“But the truth is that Thomas' rise was never anchored in Pin Point, as White House advisers led the public to believe. His family's house had burned down when he was 6, and for most of his young life he was raised comfortably in Savannah by his grandfather Myers Anderson, one of the black community's leading businessmen.”

Well at the beginning Thomas comes right out of the gate with the poor black child who came up from little to nothing. Okay, I dig this. His grandfather was a fascinating and interesting figure and honestly I wished that the memoir had been about him rather than Thomas. Yes I have my biases but this business he writes about knowing that he didn’t get to where he is alone really blew me away. From what I could tell of his public life and very public opinions he did everything on his own and if he did benefit from any sort of outside couldn’t really be sure if that was the case or not.

Funny, because in this memoir every third word is "black". It seemed to me that he was trying to convince us and himself that he is indeed a black man. The amazing thing to me is that for all of the injustices and bigotry he endured (as chronicled in his memoir) he tends to speak publicly as if nothing of the sort exists anymore. Unless of course it is his own "High Tech Lynching"although he does write in his book that the Franciscan nuns of his youth taught him that God created all men including black men, equal. Then on the heels of the statement there is a picture of a Klan rally in his town which he read of in the paper but didn’t attend because "we knew better than to go near such events".

Right. But he goes on to say that a white classmate in high school wrote in his yearbook "Keep on trying Clarence, one day you will be as good as us" and he was confused about whether the statement was racist or not. WHAT?

He didn't know what they meant by that, he writes. Really? I find that hard to believe based on the fact that his entire memoir is about how his blackness was ALWAYS an issue when dealing with whites and blacks in any job he had or any school he attended. I mean he talks of segregated bathrooms, black shanty towns and being called the"n" word by classmates.... the book offers many of these contradictions...

The narrative is so meticulous in its delivery that you can tell that it was written by a lawyer making sure to tie up loose ends. (I know, I know this is specious reasoning on my part but then I said I was biased)

Okay I am not a fan of Clarence Thomas so maybe I shouldn't have read the book and shouldn't be writing this review but here I am.

Damn-it if he didn't ride my nerves with the constant diatribes about his grassroots idealism until the militant blacks soured him on the notions. It seemed as if Everything he did that was defeatist and fatalist he learned from blackness (drinking, inciting riots, and general trouble making). All references to mismanagement in welfare and in welfare recipients were black operated or utilized largely by blacks.

The one sentence that stuck out as his mantra was "I was not intimidated by whites" and it was always presented as a contrast to some other poor black person who was. Not him though. Which is odd since he constantly talked about the discomfort of being the only black in a sea of whites his whole life.

Oh, did he mention that he was black y'all and that blacks in the south had it rough? He was descended from West African slaves (yeah, that's right! Slaves so put that in your pipe and smoke it) and he spoke Gullah and everybody hated his African features (even blacks) and people called him names and the Klan marched and he had concerns as the only black student in an all white school (oh wait he wasn't poor anymore, well not since he was 6 but still...he was black--and not intimidated!).
Oh and uhm he voted for McGovern, so there! But then later he wised up, went Republican and rode Reagan's jock with a vengeance. Okay so that was unnecessary!

Did he mention that he did have a moment where he wondered if blacks really could do as wells as whites? Eek--Maybe they couldn't!(gasp).. Maybe white supremacy was actually true....WTF? But don't worry, whites didn't intimidate him remember..

Okay he didn't know when someone was dissing him because he was black unless they said the "N" word --- and he always knew that he could do what he set out to do because of the strength of his grandfather--- but then maybe blacks weren't academically up to the level of whites (he doesnt mention their 400 year head start or their Jim Crow antics or the separate but equal nonsense that must have had a place in rural Georgia, and later Savannah and Atlanta). Annoyed doesn't begin to describe what I felt as I trudged through this book! I don't care for the "N" word but I honestly wanted to say out the side of my mouth "Psshhh, Look at this "N" word..."

Oh yeah and uhm Uncle Clarence says that Regan was deeply hurt by the fact that blacks had labeled him a racist...awww they found us out...

Guess what? He was always conflicted by working within a system with serious issues on both sides. He tried to take those positions and parlay them into something that would help black people. See? he's totally down with us... Enter the infamous Coke can incident---

His portrayal of Anita Hill as the quintessential black bitch always wanting something from a brother was tired and from my point of view contrived. Nice try. His book claims that she got your job with him through one of those "help a sister out"hook-ups which he agreed to, even though she wasnt a Republican and she claimed to have "detested" Reagan.

Get this, he mentions that she left her previous employment because of retaliation from a boss whose advances she refuses. Check the set-up y'all... He helped her because he had always been driven by the need to help his people. And of course she was only adequate at her job, poor Uncle C! All he wanted to do was help and what happened? Black women! Watch yo' back America--you know how we do...whatever "N" word! See I wrote it again.

Well then he had to leave his wife because as I mentioned before everything that had sucked in his life was black so she had to go... All right thats unfair, this marriage had him drinking and hating life (he knew he had made a mistake on his wedding day---DAMN! He probably should of told her that shit before he had her living a busted existence with his wishy-washy behind!)

What I do fine genuine is fascination with his current wife Virginia. "I'd grown up in the Deep South, where merely being seen with a white woman was enough to get a black man lynched, but I was fascinated by Virginia, an old fashioned idealist whom Washington’s cynics had not yes managed too spoil." The paragraph goes on to talk about her goodness and how she was single in a tough city (thank God he was there to look after her purity) oh don’t worry he "knew that this was no fetish-laden intrigue with a woman of another race, but a gift from God."

For all her innocence I read in "Supreme Discomfort" that almost no one from her family knew he was black until they showed up at the wedding....awww --that purity must have been difficult for him to deserve.

Look I ain't gonna lie, this book left me sucking my teeth and rolling my neck...I suppose a personal memoir cant help but be arrogant but this was just too much for me.

He came off as the hypocrite I feel he is in real life and so at least there were no surprises...UGH! He reminds me of a few other black pseudo-intellectuals who tout there own misfortunes and discount the misfortunes of others routinely. No-one has suffered as they have you see and all those other folks should buck up while we all feel sorry for them....double UGH!

Bill Cosby's book "COME ON, PEOPLE! ON THE PATH FROM VICTIMS TO VICTORS" comes out Tomorrow and I plan to read it and write a review of it as well...

I have to cleanse my pallet after that Thomas mess and so I will be reading Ultimates Vol. One for my Sci-Fi, Nick Fury fix! Peace...

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Slavery aint Your Artificial Sweetener

How do you take your coffee? Your tea? What about your cakes and pies, Whether boxed or homemade? How often do we think of the words "cash crop" in our highly technological, Starbucks, processed food sorta world? Many of us never have occasion to think of how things like, coffee, salt, or sugar get to our tables. The quick and dirty answer in the case of many of these products and particularly in this case sugar, is one word---Slavery.

Please view this clip--

We are staring into the faces of ourselves. The children cutting cane in this trailer are the children we send to school everyday. There was a question about Christianity on a blog site to which I offered my 2 cents regarding the merits of mainstream faith.
The Priest depicted in this clip is one of the few examples of positive, grassroots, champion-of-the meek, Christian leadership that I have seen in a long time (of course, who am I? A heathen at best and a Pagan at worst).
I have heard Some say that life is cheap, I say brown life is not cheap it's free in far too many instances...and is still the one commodity that will thrive to replenish itself even in the face of genocide (The kind of life lived by our brothers and sisters in this documentary is slow, painful, genocide).

How much does a bag of that Imperial Pure Cane sugar in the cupboard set us back I wonder? I'll be damned if the proof ain't in the very title.

The Documentary is a limited release film and will not be available in all cities for some time after it's release this month. For a list of cinemas showing the very important documentary please go to The Price of Sugar
You may also request to host a screening on your school campus or for your organization or community group by emailing the contacts on the site.
Their Take Action Page allows you to write your congressman and encourages you to buy products from producers who label their products with the stamp "Fair Trade Certified™".

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Godd-Ess Love

I once dreamed that a hyena, the scavenger, was tearing at my guts and gorging. I lay there complacent and almost dementedly content. When it got its fill, it used what was left to feed another one (hyena). I became outraged--jealous-- but did not react. I just lay there, wounds gaping, mind knowing and conscious, watching as this scavenger, scavenged me for another, who was scavenging it in turn.
Quite a circle only at the end of such a cycle, I was worse for the suffering and scarring. I woke up to a pounding headache and a sweaty brow.
The Sable Sovereign has joined this world and weaves her spell, enchanting all in her path...No more regrets....She listened to a song earlier today and told me a tale....We spoke briefly about her evening with a young God, whom she called "Ra"
A lesson young Goddess, one it took me 100 years to learn I will give to you in but the tiniest fraction of time--listen--
We miss it. We don't know how much until right then.

"Good Morning Brown Sugar."
A very strange phrase from a simple and straight forward man. Love it. The candor in the middle of the world, just like that.
"What I feel for you right now, is lust."
" really." Really is the statement, not the question. You see we already knew that, been putting that out there since we caught your scent sir.
can smell him from all the way over there. Masculine. The kind of masculine that makes women act like women. The kind that inspires the "coy mistress" in the fairer sex. That mixture of interest and something akin to fear but not...really...fear.
In mind and body, right then, begins the lie.
A perfect "No" on our lips and that faux defensive manner in which we throw back and reel in with fluidity,
some thank Eve for this skill but I thank Adam.
Without him, his Eve would not have known that there was more to want and better still a way to get it.
No hustling for attention. No watching as rewards go to someone else, wholly unseen or otherwise.
"Honestly woman, you don't know whatchoo workin' with."
"No sweetheart it is you who is in the dark my God of Light."

If someone were to take us apart and re-assemble the ancient woman, they would place her at the mouth of a cave waiting for the chance to cling to the strongest warrior, the best hunter, the most virile one--the one insistent on obedience, copulation and reproduction.
He watches every move. Making us liquid. Every murmur about the benign masks skin on skin.
Knuckle-dragging, business-handling, woman-pleasing, by-the-hair-wrangling, he-got-this kinda Man. And in return we give him that role, for without our consent he will conquer little more than himself...we are the reason, the question and the answer to one another. Nothing matters more than our connection brothers and sisters....

Will your feminist card be revoked? Hell N'aw! Nothing matters as much as the drive to be with one another bound in love and respect...
That's a good lesson I think

Monday, October 1, 2007

How you Feelin' Goddesses?

You know that Science Fiction will rule this right?

the significance of crossing a threshold is sometimes overlooked I think.
There have been times when I should have thought about what was coming into my space or into what space I was moving into more carefully.
I am not one of those people though.
I like my lessons the way I like my lovers--H.A.R.D.
Now honestly that double entendre was unintended but let me clarify. I like my lovers rough around the edges, weak men disturb me.
That is my own baggage.
I wonder what men have done for the jungle-cat-straddling, thunder-raining Sable Sovereign?
I am so glad you asked neophyte....
I woke up and I felt good. I'm crushing. I want the entree not the side dish and so no more of that "Oh could I get a small serving of peach cobbler?" I'm just browsing...for now...and that means what you think it means.

I woke up and I felt good. I'm free and I do mean FREE. Inhibitions do not coil around my neck to suppress and strangle me. ahem---I mean I am free (*wink*--and it means what you think it means).

I woke up and I felt good. I shook it off, paid it off and now I am going to leave it off! Oh and you KNOW that means what you think it means...

That's what I mean....I'm feelin' goooooooood. Ya feel me? And THAT means what you think it means....So joined this plain and I will tame it. I heard a song and I knew it was about me. My reign will be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Liquid love will spill from my crafty tongue and creep into you hollows until your foundation is once again solid. The taste of my breath is the heartbeat of life. I am not without my failings. Even Goddesses have their moments but trust that even at my worst I can make you tremble from a mere utterance.
Didnt you hear The Black Swan---
"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, for me."---Nina Simone