Monday, December 31, 2007

The Jesuit--An Abstract-Shameless Self Promotion

Hey y'all. Here is an abstract creation just now so this is but a tiny sliver of who he is. He has the attention of the The Pixie Sovereign, although I have toyed with the idea of having The Reaper Sovereign of the Harvest (formerly known as Gretchen Thomas) be his stalker. I thought maybe she would try to take his soul or some such nonsense but I don't know yet. And another shameless plug--
Click on the link to THE ULTRAVIOLET UNDERGROUND in my blog roll to download the Winter Issue of PURPLE Magazine.
There is a Short story written by yours truly within its Lovely Pages!--I sometimes write under the name

The Short story is called Persephone3 so check me out yall and give my girl and her righteous magazine a shout out! I love YOU PurpleZoe! And here is the excerpt

The Jesuit retreated into his small room in the rectory and wondered about the thing he encountered in His Father's house. The woman whose entire body seemed to be pushing toward him had studied him intently for more than a month, a full three phases of the moon. She was an African, an original at that. Pure from the line of Lucy or perhaps before. The important thing was that she had moved from the fringes of home and right into middle of life. She was comfortable in the old church but she was uncomfortable around the children of the flock. Their silence shook her. They knew her heart and had shared with him the secret of her Babylonian origins. He walked the length of his cell-like room and reached out to turn on the radio. He listened intently to the report through song for a clue as to why the council of Heathens were tracking him and why the beautiful demon Goddess was so much more interested in him than was appropriate for a man of God. He stalked back to his room to gather any information he could as to her purpose for him or herself. He unlocked the room by transmogrifying the golden chain of the incense burner into a solid skeleton key. The door opened with a lazy squeak.
"Harlot," he whispered to an empty room. "What could she be thinking," he thought further. He removed his cloak and paced to build up body heat. As his core temperature rose he began to hear the static that brought with it reports from off world. The music cloaked the room and the candle burned brighter as the report came in through the lyrics.
Okay, I am having the hardest time trying to decide on what the Jesuit is listening to right here. I know some indie musicians who have the perfect messages. That's the problem, they are plural! Ugh this is tough. So I am just gonna have to leave out the broadcast that The Jesuit hears for now and drop it in later.
The Jesuit listened half-heartedly to the reports of rogue holy-men as the coded messages spilled from the small and unassuming Bose speaker system. He stripped off his linen undershirt to reveal a body covered in all manner of religious symbols, some ancient some less forgotten. The most significant piece of art graced his broad, muscular chest. He stood still for a moment as warmth emanated from the trinity of a crucifix, an ankh and an ouroboros covering him from neck to waist. It glowed brilliantly in the candle lit room and the sensation of its vibrations pushed him to his knees and forced a rushed prayer from his lips.
Okay that is all. I'm sorry I just don't know a lot about The Jesuit yet. I know that he has lived for some centuries and that in one lifetime he was a North African General in the time of Constantine. You know me and my love of history and mythology.
Anyway, y'all have a great and safe New Year's Eve and a fancy and delightful New Year's day! As a matter of fact have a wonderful year full of love, light, peace and happiness!
Be safe and be true and know that Karma has the patience of Job and now, so do I.
I love you all sincerely!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Shameless Self Promotion and some Personal Stuff

Click on the link to THE ULTRAVIOLET UNDERGROUND in my blog roll to download the Winter Issue of PURPLE Magazine.
There is a Short story written by yours truly within its Lovely Pages!--I sometimes write under the name

The Short story is called Persephone3 so check me out yall and give my girl and her righteous magazine a shout out! I love YOU PurpleZoe!
Now on to new business. I dont discuss a lot of personal stuff, well, I do but usually it is about stuff that makes me mad and even then it is written as a violent fight scene. Anyway a fellow asked me a bunch of questions about myself.... or was it just one question? I can't tell but I can say that however it happened I talked quite a bit about myself which is highly uncharacteristic of me with people I work with. I have made a friend of one other person in much the same capacity at work and funny enough he is the closest friend of this other fellow (clear as mud, right?).

Anyway, I thought about my cynicism during the conversation and realized that I had made some sort of transformation over the last year. My cynicism has abandoned me it seems. I used to have serious beef with love. I mean serious beef, especially during a hard six months of this year.
But now I notice that I really dig love and not only that, it seems that I love love. I actually love attending weddings (although I will likely never have one. Mostly because I could absolutely stay with someone forever without an actual wedding. I'll get into this one day but not today. That center of attention thing does a number on me also. I didnt even tell anyone when my graduation day was for my second degree because of all the fuss they made over me about the first one.)

Anyway...I like love. I feel good about it and when it hits again I rather think I shall be excited and happy. Not like my usual self where I realize it and then work to shut the feeling down before the object of affection notices me stalking them.
About this love thing.
The idea of age came up in conversations with both fellows.
You know for all of my empowered woman talk I still hold a few antiquated notions about gender relations and propriety. Hey, I am enlightened enough to admit that I too get stuck in old ways of thinking. So after my meditations today I thought I might examine my outdated views on dating in these oh so progressive times. I made a REVISED list of what I like in a fella. This list is as follows
  1. Funny(not just funny to himself! Funny to me)
  2. Intelligent--like nerd intelligent not that psuedo-shit that fake revolutionaries tout as intelligence.
  3. Attentive--many people wouldn't know it but I am extremely sensitive (even though I dont cry much). I like singular attention and can be pretty possessive. Not like "who is that bitch you're talking to" possessive but in my mind I have a certain idea of ownership when it comes to the people who are close to me.
  4. generous. Not like monetarily, I mean with time (no I dont need tons of time because I tend to disappear into myself for long periods). But I do need to be looked after more than I care to have known. My periods of hibernation should monitored so that I am prompted to resurface now and again.
  5. creative--I notice creative types deal best with other truly creative types. Period. There is a whole mindset that goes with this. I need to know that my off the wall ideas about alternate realities will not be dismissed as child's play. I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my shit (to quote Badu).
  6. supportive--this includes himself. If He cant sustain himself mentally and physically then we wont do well together(this was a good lesson to learn this year). No halves need apply! I am already whole and I want a whole man from the jump. I always wince when people say "My other half". I think that is absurd. So without the other person you are less than a full person? Well I dont know about you but the Great Deity made me complete from the start. The loss of a loved one should never cripple us but make know the value of that love by keeping their memory wholly close to us. The loss should not make us some wounded and incomplete being. Of course if the Deity you worship deals in half measures then more power to you... Now right about here is where I would usually add some nonsense about them being no more than a year younger and up to 12 years older until I realized that my energy level doesn't typically match this age group. I love to move around. I go to concerts, hike and travel as much as possible and to be honest I have yet to find a man my age who can keep up. Sad but true. So enough of that junk.
  7. Energetic and appropriate for me regardless of age.
No more lazy-ass men! I mean dudes whose bodies and minds limit them and stifle me. UGH! I just cant do it again and so I wont. Man I learned a ton this year. I made the choice to subject myself to the sort of people I thought I should be with rather than the kind of people who really add to my oh-so-lively and lovely existence. People have every right to be how they want. The choice is ours to let them into our space or not. This last year was about me not choosing ME over something that was counter to who I am. My flaw! not anyone else's. I have to own that, and I have.

Own your shit friends because the life you AINT living is damn sure your OWN.
That is all for now my lovelies.
I promise, science fiction comes next time! Promise!
Be Safe and be true. Remember that Karma plays debt collector so WE dont have to....
I love you all!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Saturnalia

It seems that the Pagan in me cannot help but to say a few words about Christmas. I am not sure how this entry will be received but then hey I didn't make the shit up so take it up with ancient Rome if you take issue. This is also a rebuttal of sorts to some folks who got all Preachy on me about me not celebrating Christmas,
apparently they will see me in HELL(I guess from Heaven?).

Jokes on them cuz I already work retail!
This will be a very very brief history of the Holiday formerly known as Saturnalia.....

The Roman festival of Saturnalia was dedicated to Saturn and was generally held around December 17th but was later expanded to an entire week which would include Winter Solstice. This was a time of libation and general merriment. Slaves were spared from their toils and allowed to wear the badge of "freedom", men exchanged gifts with men, engaged in man on man love. Certainly these were not the only elements of the festivities but it was ancient Rome and I think we all have a general idea about the worth of women and the enslaved in ancient and not so ancient societies.

In an effort to "Christianize" the population, December 25th was adopted as Christ's birthday because Pagans already celebrated this day as the Winter Solstice. I mean you do the math, wouldn't it be easier to just take the day when people were already partying and rename it rather than coming up with another day and trying to start a new tradition? What better way to convert than to usurp?

To pay homage to the God of Farming (Saturn), Romans would sometimes cut down an Evergreen tree and decorate it in order to honor the fact that evergreens remained green even during bitter winters.

I was brought up southern Baptist (and I know study at a Catholic University) and so much of what I learned about Christmas came from the bible. Most importantly how the shepherds watched over there flocks by night (Luke). Palestinian winters are reputed to be quite bitter and so this flock-watching outside was probably a practice of springtime. Which is cool by me and I am sure by countless others. The thing is that I was not informed of the weather conditions in the region mentioned in the bible at the time of "lambing" so I was under the impression for the longest time that all of the Christmas business of the time occurred in what I knew to be winter. My perception was incorrect to say the least. December in Jerusalem is not ideal for shepherding and flocks would likely be brought indoors no later than October. *Sigh*

Oh well as I mentioned earlier, I work retail (until I grow up that is Smiley), and I see people, many of them "Christians", at their worst during this time of year. I watch people sink into debt and scowl as they buy gifts for people they feel less than "jolly" about so that they may "appear" giving. They drag their children around at all hours of the night going from store to store buying Yuletide Gaiety at rock bottom prices thanks to an eviscerated third world proletariat, which is by the way largely comprised of women and children.

To be sure I am not out to convert Christians to Paganism. As a matter of fact I rather like many elements of the faith. Plus It does not enhance my life in any way to make everyone walk on eggshells waiting for the religious debate to jump-off when there is pie to eat and sage to burn...oops I mean eggnog to drink. This entry was for a select few who got in my face about how I live and celebrate and for me as a tiny little rant. It was also for anyone else who wants to read it.

At any rate I hope that everyone enjoys good food, good times and good company all year long!
I know that I already do, especially lately.
I dont have to tell you that you dont need shiny things to validate you.
I dont need to tell you that the people you love will love you more if you give them a little recognition here and there throughout the year.
Dont wait for a Holiday to let you generosity take the front seat.
Please dont wait for a Holiday to tell the people you love that you love them.
Help others all year.
Give. That is your duty as fellow human, to share yourself in a goodly manner all the days you bless us with your lovely presence.
I love you all. All year, I love you all.
Be safe and be true and know that even if you dont remember those deeds, Karma has a proper tally and updates often. Here is a Winter poem by Emily Bronte that I just love and want to share with you my lovely friends!


The night is darkening round me,
The wild winds coldly blow;
But a tyrant spell has bound me
And I cannot, cannot go.

The giant trees are bending
Their bare boughs weighed with snow.
And the storm is fast descending,
And yet I cannot go.

Clouds beyond clouds above me,
Wastes beyond wastes below;
But nothing drear can move me;
I will not, cannot go.--Emily Bronte

Friday, December 21, 2007

RICK THE RULER! Pics and Video from the Slick Rick Affair

Hey ya'll! It took me a minute get the pics and video cleaned up enough to post but here it is without further ado!
This concert was amazing! I had the best time with my friends and a whole gang of old schooler's! He performed all of his greatest tunes including "The Show" which he performed without Dougie Fresh! The host of the event, one D.R.E.S the Beatnik was excellent as a human beat box and hype man! Then there was DJ Chaos who spun primo sounds and kept us all in the mood to do the Wop! LOL! Check it all out!

Check out DJ Chaos

The dude holding the camera on stage is D.R.E.S. The Beatnik. Here is a video of part of his performance! Check out the dance he does toward the middle! This guy was fantastic!

Now for some reason my slide show would not behave so I decided to do one of those remix deals on photobucket. You'll know me because I have a big, BEAUTIFUL, happy gap-toothed grin and the tiny beginning dreds on my charming noggin! You will also note that I am about 33 pounds lighter even though you cant tell by the shirt I am wearing.
The couple in the remix consist of Minus of Double F and the talented artist extraordinaire Jamila John! Torridgirl is the brunette and Myclette is the lovely lady with the flower in her hair! Then you will see the one and only Slick Rick the Ruler!

So that is all my friends! The night was stellar and the next day was even more fun as me and my girls went for vegetarian and saw the mindless violence of the movie Hitman! Then we spent the evening talking about where we are and were we want to go on this great journey. Later that night I entertained some birthday phone calls. It is nice to be noticed.
Be Safe and Be true.
Spread Love and Light and Art.
When you think you have it all figured out know that Karma is the only one who knows for sure.
I love you all!
Namaste and Hotep my lovelies!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

First Things First!

Hey Y'all! My birthday week is moving along splendidly! I had the BEST time at the Slick Rick Concert last night! It was
I am going to finish editing the photos and post them here as soon as possible! I promise. But first I have to share some pics from the Special Ed affair that I attended last month at the Engine Room. Now I didnt get any good photos of Special Ed but no worries he was slammin'! What I did get is primo photos of fellows I like to call the GENTS of Southern Socially Conscious Hip Hop! These brothers have a killer album and a presence to make you stand up or rather listen up and take notice! They are Flow Factory (Double F) and here are some photos of their performance.

Be sure to check them out at MySpace! Just click HERE for cool ass uplifting lyricism!
Okay my video of them is NOT decent enough to post but no worries because I got a NEW hand-held Hybrid hard disk camcorder for my 36th birthday. Since I don't do Christmas my Mother tends to really wear out my Birthday (she also got me new jammies---she knows I love lounge in preshrunk, earth sustainable cultivated cotton)! Goddess love her, cuz I know I do! She accepts all my quirks and incorporates them into the lives of our family s if they are automatic. I dont have to FAKE Thanksgiving and Christmas to please them because they know and accept me.
We know that RESPECT of each other's beliefs above all else is what matters.
Back to the camera. It has an SD card slot AND 37 hours of recording hard disk space!
So the next event will be recorded in Stellar fashion by yours truly!

How do even begin to tell you all how good I feel?
I mean, not the bullshit "I feel fine" sorta thing that we sometimes do to talk ourselves into the feeling but I mean some real genuine Good Feelings!
This is the feeling you get when you truly bleed out the poison and replace it in righteous fashion with purity and love.
Meditate, Eat Right and ATONE for your actions.
Then you begin your approach to a Righteous state of being.
Once you dump the Garbage avow never, ever to compromise your integrity or taint your righteous words in order to puff your chest and diminish others.
Never tell yourself another lie in order to stay stagnant or hurt another citizen of the world. Keep your word. It is the most important piece of intangible credit that you have.
A corrupt word hides a corrupt soul.
Zen exists in us all.
I love you my friends.
Peace Love and Light---Namaste and Hotep my lovelies.
Love yourselves hard and true and know that in those moments of doubt Karma is the one surety so choose wisely (damn! That was a Femigog Original I think---I'm copy-written so don't just grab and run without proper credit---and keep this policy for EVERYTHING you borrow)

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

A Short Pre-Birthday Post

Hey y'all! I wont be posting that excerpt today because I have to be at work in an hour at 6am and because the Slick Rick concert is tonight! I am taking a page out KiKi's handbook and celebrating my 36th birthday for the entire week(it is really Thursday)!
I know, I know, I have SOME nerve!

I woke up a little early to get a good meditation in before battling the crowds in retail management universe and I feel superb. I had my grapefruit juice and sent some positive thoughts into the world and towards those who have hurt me in the past. Let's get Golden and shine like the precious Gems we are!

small note>>>>>
I decided on another group weave into my writing since I think someone put some pollution in the ear of the first group I was thinking of. No worries. Group B is just as good I thought it would be kinda weave Southern Mythology writing with Mid-Western sounds. Southern sounds rock as well and so there you have it. They still kick ass in the sound department.
Oh and there will be picks from this event tonight!!!!! (not to mention all the other events I have been too lately)

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

And I am out for the day but you know that I love you all sincerely and thanks so much for your kind words and you willingness to come here and share my tiny little piece of healing.
Dont forget that Karma comes calling even when we are OUT! Be safe and be true, that fake shit aint real to nobody but you. Kisses and Hugs my lovelies.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Okay! Sorry for the weeklong break! Catch Up and Some Personal Stuff

But school was out and I just had to get some stuff done!
1. I needed to nail down my hiking trip to Arizona and the Grand Canyon for one. In case anyone wants to meet me there I will be there the weekend of January 18th! Got my ticket last night on I was going to use my frequent flier miles but I decided to save them for something this summer.
2. Today I am going to go ahead and register for the Brown Bloggers Conference in Atlanta. I figure I would check it out and maybe meet some of the cool ass bloggers I read so often. Y'all better be regular and down to earth or you'll break my beautiful Pagan Heart!
3. I had to clean up! I had papers all over the place from my constant writing endeavors over the semester.
4. I had to finish a short story that a wonderful e-zine will actually publish hopefully! Thanks PurpleZoe, You know how I love that Underground Movement of yours! You're a beautiful and informed GEM! Keep Shining sister!
5. Meditate, Meditate Meditate! There was so much junk left over from earlier in the year that all my progress was struggling to take a front seat in my life. Thanks to the Great Deity above I found my center (
there is a really tacky joke in there but I am gonna leave it alone). You have to give yourself time to heal before you can even process and enjoy the things that will make your life yours. So DETOX all the junk and only fill your system and space with positive foods and situations. I keep forgetting to post my meditation procedure for anyone interested. I promise I will in my next post. It is really easy but very effective.
I was really hurt earlier this year. I mean I was ripped, gnashed and bleeding love onto the pavement y'all. I hadn't kept my word to myself and Karma showed me my lies in the form of someone equally flawed (I would like to say they are more flawed than I but those judgments are not mine to make).
I had to deal with the fact that I had trusted the wrong person.
WAIT! Let me finish.
I trusted someone even though there was the tiniest part of me that told me no.
Okay, for a minute I was so down over how this person treated me that all I could do was write venom. You remember my rants, right? Well I had to bleed out completely and I did. I was reading their blog and her blog and just ruining my own Light with effects of his darkness.
But then I started digging into to my own thought processes and dealing with my own issues and realized that I had betrayed myself by not listening to myself. In short I had not kept my word to myself. That was my aha moment as Oprah would say. I never went back to either of their blogs. EVER. I couldnt tell anything that he is doing or that they are doing because none of ME is about THEM. That simple. I really want them to be happy together. I dont know if they will but I do know that Karmic-ally there are some debts due. Anyway that is theirs to wade through "together" hopefully. Back to the Femigog! LOL
You see I had a plan for my life and honestly I had just let my plans fall to wayside while I worked myself silly for any goal that wasn't mine. In short I made choices that took me away from the life I had/have planned.
1. I want to write for a living. I stopped writing for a time (not because of the person only of course, I had just put a lot of other things before this goal). Now I seem to be well on my way to writing for a living. I cant even begin to put into words how I feel about this (aint that a caution? a writer at a loss for words).
2. I wanted to get healthy and go Vegetarian again. I didn't while I was putting others first. (I am only NOW in the final transition phase to an ORGANIC vegetarian lifestyle.) I gotta tell ya that I never felt better.
3. I wanted to travel more. I have a few trips planned and am paying on a trip to Africa right now. We are still trying to find a good Italy trip for August. We have to get this done this month though! LOL! We cant see to come to a consensus but we will and you will here it right HERE first my friends!
4. I want to recoup the money that I spent helping someone who presented themselves as a friend and then betrayed their own word. I have been catching a few overtime hours and trying to sell some writing services (tutoring, writing clinics, ect.) I get the feeling this brother wont be staying true to his word or even apologizing to the universe for his behavior. I hope he at least apologizes so that Karma will know his intentions. Peace Brother. The Universe still loves you.
5. I want to feel and give love to the people I meet and the people I know. That simple. I want to radiate the beauty of community, caring and HONESTY to everyone I am in the company of. I want that for all of you as well. Everyone should feel love from within and infect everyone and thing they encounter with that love.
Alright folks! I am back for real and the next post will be about the Pixie's new love interest, The Jesuit. I already love where it is going! Oh and there is this hip-hop group that is just fantastic and I want to use their lyrics for the Jesuits pursuits. I am gonna finish the write up and let them read it and ask their permission.
Although I think someone may have hated on me and convinced them to negate my interest in their sound. Hey man! Shame on you if you did what I get the feeling you have done(God(dess) Bless you Brother).
I have a plan B (another really good group actually).
Be safe Be true and know that one good turn deserves another. Always be as good as your Word. In the end that will determine what the universe hears and returns to you. Hell Karma has fucking sonar so be careful about what you put out there!
Dude, just think about paying me back every time you put on something I bought for you. At the very least, keep your word. I have kept mine to you. I hope you find all happiness in your endeavors and I hope that you give that happiness to the people around you unconditionally. On a side note I hope you at least attempt to pay me back. I could use that money for my trip to Africa actually.
I LOVE you all! I really do and I appreciate all the healing I have done in public and with total truth on this spot!
next time we get our science fiction/ fantasy on!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

School is OUT and I am IN my friends!!!

I dont wanna go into how SLAMMIN' ya girl was at her Literary conference but suffice it to say that I did the damn thing! My fifteen minute discussion on the women as vessels rather than people with choices in Victorian Literature was on and poppin'! But enough about that you want to dig in to a little fantasy now that classes are over I can oblige more readily! The Pixie is obsessed with someone y'all! Let me know what you think


Stalking your shadow.
Dogging your footsteps.
How long will it take
for you to slow your pace just enough for capture?

Grains of broken glass in every sip
i take across from no one, and not you.
Each kiss against lips not yours
strips skin from flesh until
a blazing heart is exposed through a barbed wire reality.

When you rise so too does the day.
And when you rest the night is upon all.
How many rotations before, dizzy and stricken,
the pull of you is too great
and there is a great and mythic tragedy to recount?
(The Pixie Sovereign)

She watched him through the stained glass. Her vision fixed on the form beneath his vestments. the smell of myrrh escaped through the cracks in the old building and intoxicated her.
What would he think if he knew that she watched him.
silently and impatiently wanting him.
Who was he?
Why was the Sovereign council protecting him from the elements of Babylon?
What was her home world to him and what was he to it?

She had gotten close to him once. Close enough to feel the fabric of his robe against her bare right arm, her strong arm. It was the day she gripped a bible in her fist rather than her flail. That one time she held on to the words a man spoke as if they would leak to her some secret truth about the life she lived. He knew there was something in his Father's house when he passed her in the pew, placing a wafer on her tongue and drawing back his hand. Noticing later that the smallest prick from her teeth had drawn blood. He knew that there was something in his Father's house when the temperature dropped and children became still and listening--absorbing.
The children always know. He watched the children all the while praying in Latin. The sound assaulted her ears and she felt herself slipping into selfishness. She would take him now, without his consent and without the approval of the council. The Jesuit belonged to her and she would not wait.

He prayed in constant and hushed tone. He was praying for her. She was enraged and filled with lust for him. This was an outrage. An assault. His affects were an attack. Her whip materialized in her strong hand. She would bind him. His footfalls carried through the church like the pulse of a giant.
He was prepared for her. He knew. He held the golden chain of the burner as it transformed before her eyes.
When he passed her she heard the words he said over her in a rush of Latin.

"Deo duce, ferro comitante." (With God as my leader and my sword as my companion)

All was still in the church, frozen. They watched one another and knew that this was not the time. She sprang to her feet and spoke to him in a tone so low that it rode upon the icy air...

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam"(I will find a way or make one--Hannibal).
That's all for now friends! I dont where this is going yet but I think a holy man would really spice up the mix especially for our Hedonist Pixie!
Be good and be true and know that when you feel like you're all alone Karma is sitting right beside you!
Oh and as for YOU, I can't believe you actually hated on me like that man! Hey, it's your Karma brother, so go ahead and DO YOU in the words of Russell Simmons.
I love you anyway
I love you all!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Part the Second--Purging The Demons or Becoming One?

Classes have ended for the semester and I am elated. A new Sovereign segment is in the offing soon friends never fear.
My night was stellar and I am elated. I meditated more readily and easily this morning which is a good thing. upon completion I came here to my journal to let loose the thoughts that came to the surface and released them from my being. This is stream of consciousness and so the disjointedness cannot be helped. I will post my method for meditation if anyone is interested. The process is uncomfortable at first but you will come to welcome it in time. Here it is, unedited and unapologetic----
The lover knows what I am withholding. Good. I like his attention to detail, the digging into me he does. I am anthropology and archeology to him. A study. Good.
My meditations are now necessary when they used to be ornamental or a luxury at best.
The solstice is right around the corner and I have a bad habit to sacrifice on sister moon's altar.
My birthday is right around the corner and I am indifferent. The lover is young and excited. Strong. Tactile and angry. The Prototype. An Alpha. Yeah. He is a DARE.
My passport photo is updated but the injections that are to come in 8 months will take some getting used to. I hate shots. I distrust medications. Animal testing is criminal.
What delusions are am I living in? That I ever loved certain people. I will never SAY aloud that I did not. This is a flaw. It will surface and become....
What are yours?
What are ours?
Who could I hurt to make my point? No one, never just to make a point. Always to protect myself first and them second? Good.
What will I do in the face of self preservation? Anything. I could kill.
I love two men who both love me. I feel for them and rejoice for myself. I could live without either. Is this good? Is it right? It is me.
I will now and always have what I want FIRST.
I am now very dangerous to.....

Damn it! I have a new interest. Patience. Be careful boy. Praying Mantis? HA! At the very least....
I am better at this than most...
I am very dangerous to...
I have forgiven but I will collect...through Karma.
You are in danger, and for that I am sorry.
I will live the life you pretended to capable of, and this is your reaping.
I have pity for you and for that I am sorry. Had I not
I am now very dangerous to...doubt
I am dangerous to the idea of "fear".
I am dangerous to the idea of "idleness"
I am dangerous to the idea of "failure"
I am your ANTI and I am dangerous to you in my success.
I have pity for you and for that I am sorry but not at all responsible.
Owning my shit! You own yours and for that I am sorry but not responsible.
I have said a prayer for you and made a sacrifice in your name.
I will say a prayer for you and make a sacrifice in the body of our mother Africa for your sake.
You are in your reaping and for that I am sorry but not responsible.
I believe in it, all of it. I am part of the problem if not the solution. My hands cant stay clean and I am who I say I am.
I am as good as my word, first last and always. Are you? NO.
I am dangerous because I am in motion.
Stand. back. Stand. back.
I love you all. More than you know and more than I wish I did.

That was honestly done all at once after my morning meditation folks. ain't that a caution. Some of it is a bit confusing but all of it is organic. Now it is evening and time for Yoga and green tea. I have been told that I am losing weight too fast but my herbalist says that it has to do with the meditation and purging of toxic junk both physical and psychological....I feel better than I have in a long time so I wont question.
Next time the Sovereign Council convenes on the question of Cain the Reaper Sovereign and her pathology. I gotta do some more research first though.
Be Safe and be true and know that for all our pretending Karma sees and knows the naked truth behind the lies so don't bother getting dressed!
I love you all, and I mean it!

Monday, December 3, 2007

Stream of Consciousness Part I

You're the Devil
Please....compared to me, the Devil is a hack.
One night long ago I listened with intent to myself.
She was angry and hurt and it was my fault.
I stopped thinking about myself once for about half a year. Not one time did make a move for my self preservation. I am embarrassed about this now but only slightly. The Karma isn't mine so...
I have not compromised any of the beliefs I hold.
I don't do Thanksgiving and so I didn't. I don't do Christmas and so I wont.
Even when others try to pull me away from she who is me I hold fast to her. I am proud of this.
I feel beautiful and smart because I am now always ME , and it is not always accepted nor is it always easy but it always fits.

I am completely immersed in community, finally. I dig in and work for the Collective WE. I love US all. Even YOU. I even hope you have the life you want rather than the one You DESERVE. I now hope you never get the payback you are owed, but I know now that you will and it will be painful and it will affect more than you. For that I pity you, which is so counter to how I felt when I first saw you naked in your real self. I hated you then. Not now, you're the only one hating you now. Find Peace

I will be in AFRICA in a little over a year. I am thrilled and terrified. I will be in Italy in less than a year and I am Thrilled but not terrified. The dichotomy of these emotions hurts the me who is African. We have let so much slide in our Community. We have failed to keep our word and without it what are me? It is why I have purged and never looked back even when I watch others wade and revel in their hypocrisy and self delusion. How can I help? What can I do?

I love children. I may not ever give birth. Odd. I am fine either way.

I have two Sarges and one them has hands like a God. The taste of him is a drug, I'm a junkie. I had to stop communicating with him just to stay sane. When he wears me like a glove I am most myself. I am so female next to him I can't think of anything but surrender and submission. I let him turn me out and I encourage him to rule me. I am his to use but he never exploits it, which makes me that much more a slave to him. Shame on me, feminist that I am...

All right my friends, that is all for now. I was just kinda flowing after my meditation, it helps me sort what has come to the surface in my solitude. Give it a try it is nice.
Be Safe be true because when last I checked passing the buck doesn't fool Karma one bit.
I do love you all, even YOU. But you still owe it to yourself to get true brother. Damn, I cant believe that I actually forgive you. I hope that when Karma comes to collect you have enough saved...I honestly do.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. It feels so good to feel good. Damn! I love you all!

A Quick Note--More tonight!

Hey Y'all! I havent forgotten about posting the pics from the events I have attended but I wanted to make sure I got this out there FIRST!
I want to go to THIS on December 18th! It is free and so you need to clear your schedules!!!!!!! NO EXCUSES, NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS! I am GOING! PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!
Things just keep falling into place for me and for that I have to thank the Great Goddess and make sure what I put into the universe is positive and true. I will be back later today with a real post friends

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If you are thinking that Karma will pass your house think again. The bloody mark on your door is an invitation....
I love you all, be safe and be true!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

SPECIAL ED and FLOW FACTORY Tonight At the Engine Room!

Special Ed is performing tonight at the Engine Room and my friends will be one of the fabulous opening acts! If you are in Houston Tonight come and check out
Double F (Flow Factory)
as they lay down some conscious lyrics! I'll be there representing and hustling the marvelous female-exalting artwork of the locally renown Jamila John! Come get an Eyeful and Earful of real talk and entertainment! Oh and I will be posting some pics from the Hip-Hop Conference and Panel that was held at the University of Houston earlier this month. Quanell X, M1 from Dead Prez, Slim Thug, LaToya Luckett, Wicked Cricket were all in attendance! It was interesting to say the least! I was there promoting (I am her actual PR point-person now) the art work of Miss Jamila John whose website will launch soon.....Peruse this wont you?

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This is how it works. Get your hustle on but ALWAYS be conscious of YOU who hurt in the process. Otherwise Karma will tear you a new one....Ask around, I aint lyin'

Monday, November 26, 2007

The Sovereign Chronicles--Gretchen finishes at the Club

Now if yall remember Gretchen the newly labeled Reaper Sovereign was taking apart the club she once danced at and was violently harvesting souls for the Cause (which I cant really discuss yet). Here is the rest of it and for the first part of it go HERE

Please. C.C. I need to go to the hospital. I wont tell nobody you did it." He gagged on spit and vomit before wailing in pain again.

(10) Ten let the countdown begin
(9) I was born in the mind
(8) Take the head of a snake
(7) Behold Armaggedeon
(6) Ain't no love for the rich
(5) Only strong will survive
(4) Cause we live by the sword
(3) Plus sixty degrees
(2) For the black and the blue
(1) For the sun.. step into millennium
The name of this one is Judgement Day
No more BS, can't come out and play
Method Man--Judgment Day

"I dont give a fuck who you tell. Member all them times you shook me for my money? Making me blow you for protection and shit?! I wish you would tell somebody!" She stomped his knee and he shit himself from the pain. "Member all the times you called yourself the paper-chaser? Well I'm the Damn Bill Collector Mutha Fucka and Yo rent is Due!" She leaned in close to his face and slapped his forehead back to look into his eyes. Panic rose in him as she shot images of ancient tortures into his brain. He saw men castrated with crude and primitive weapons, raped with all manner of objects and skins being peeled from living bodies of Prisoners of Ancient Wars, Holy Wars fought in a Universe far removed from the present one. "You just became my fucking lap dog. Do you hear me?" She thumped his head with a force so hard that it caused a fracture in his skull and set him to drooling. He nodded emphatically as his eyes crossed involuntarily. She blinked and he slumped over into unconsciousness. Gretchen looked up just in time to duck a bottle of Patron that was flung at her head by another bouncer. "Carlos", she whispered to no one in particular. She let him advance on her to within a few steps and blew two puffs of air at his feet. He looked down to find his feet immobilized in blocks of ice. She stood and walked over to him.
"You know Carlos, I always liked you. I really did, but you got some debts due too know dontcha?" She continued to walk toward him, the cannon in her left hand changed shape to form a larger than life mace. The spiked edges of the medieval weapon glinted in the twinkling lights of the club. She smiled as she watch the horror on his face shift and transmogrify as he realized what was to come next. "I got a few questions to ask you Los! And for every answer you give me that I don't like, I am gonna free your feet the hard way." This was mania. To be controlled in destruction. To enjoy the wriggling unknown of your own capabilities. This was Sovereignty. He crossed himself and kissed the crucifix around his neck as tears streamed his cheeks.
"I dont know nothing I swear Cane! I dont! What are you doing? You're a nice girl. Remember? I always said you were nice!" He tripped over his words and infused them with a mixture of Spanish and English. Madre de Dios! Please! You are the Devil! La Diabla! Mother Mary in Heaven!"
His flood of religious words made her laugh. Suddenly he found God and Mary. How pathetic he was to her now.
His arms flailed and he screamed in agony as the feeling in his lower limbs began to numb from hypothermia.
"Now, for some Q&A," Gretchen replied as she playfully swung her weapon and the Mob she unleashed took grown men apart with rabid glee in the background."
Don't blame me, blame society
Type of chemistry for a live MC
Hands in the air like you just don't care
You all get a share, there's a party over here
Year two-thousand, keep bouncin
T-Minus, thirty seconds and countin
New York's finest, still wildin, Shaolin
At the full moon howlin
Get Til It's Gone, killa bee kills
Only time will reveal like the words in the song
Cause love's what I feel for my crew, bust steel
Method Man-- Judgment Day

That is all for now folks... I gotta get a paper done that I am presenting at a conference on the 9th of next month.
Love hard, love true and know that if you don't Karma is the cure.....

Thursday, November 22, 2007

I Dont Really Do Thanksgiving but---

I dont really do Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter (I am a pagan or heathen as some others might say). I do have many things to be thankful for and I express that daily in my interactions and in my endeavor to be a good person who is trustworthy and TRUE to themselves. When I say I dont do holiday's I aint just trying to sound Eclectic.....I am alot of things but I aint a fake or false revolutionary in the least. I do respect the holiday season and do enjoy many of the pagan traditions that have been usurped by the Christian church (you know like Easter eggs--which are an ancient Pagan practice which translates into fertility, the Christmas Tree which is also an ancient Pagan practice which is an homage to the earth mother) Now thanksgiving is different. Native Americans do not celebrate this Holiday and lemme tell you, after living on a reservation for a minute in my youth I totally understand their reasoning.....that being said lemme share a little bit of La Femigog with y'all This Glass Bead and Malaria infested blanket Day----

Hello all, I am feeling a little nostalgic and decided to post some ramblings about my family's home-town. Gloster, Mississippi is quaint and quiet and decidedly southern. I visited during Hurricane Rita in an attempt to leave Texas and the storm behind but unfortunately Rita followed to a degree. No heavy damage and the family was able to spend some quality time together. I took the opportunity to visit some of our old stomping grounds and some of my late relatives haunting grounds.

This is the fireplace that stood in my grandparents bedroom. Its weird because I could smell the wood burning like it did when I was 10 years old! (More than 20 years ago)

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It would get very cold in the old house at night even though it was southern Mississippi. I am told that my grandfather (Paw Paw) built the 9 bedroom/1 bathroom house himself over a time. The house was wood and had a tin roof. My grandfather died a few years ago during the Thanksgiving holiday and we buried my grandmother (Granny) on New Years Day of this year. At any given time during the summer there would be nearly 20 grandchildren in the house who had to share that 1 bathroom. These days that would be unheard of (and it should be! LOL) but we had quite a time at that old house. Standing in line for the bathroom every morning with my cousins was actually a lot of fun. We had to be quiet and look straight ahead (Paw Paw was in WWII) and be "ready" for our turn which needed to be as swift as possible as others needed to use the facilities.

The fireplace seems so small now but as a kid it seemed like it would swallow the whole house when it was lit. The smell of pine chased us through the entire house. I miss those hot summers, the foot-tubs filled with fried fish, the Stageplank cookies and being young, being with cousins who doubled as bestfriends, and swimming in an actual creek every single day, and oh the sound of rain on that tin roof.

I remember nature everywhere, raw and obliging all at once. We saw snakes that never bit us, wasps, bees, yellow jackets and walking sticks (the insect) that went along their way, never giving us a second thought. We let them be and they let us share their space peacefully and not so peacefully when we became too aggressive in our curiosity of them. I miss this life as I type on my laptop at a Wi-Fi cafe in "civilization". I want both the "middle of nowhere" and freshly prepared sushi. I think in the end I will give up the latter for the former, if I wake up and smell the noxious fumes.

If You get the chance please read my last post on the Sovereigns and gimme your feedback

Share a story from your past with me, Stay true and know that the next time you see Karma you may not be ready so get right with Her now!

I love you all!

Monday, November 19, 2007

I Crave Your Mouth--The Sovereign Chronicles

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue...Pablo Neruda


I sat sipping tea with the Sovereign and listened as one of her servants (when did she get a hand maiden?) arranged her crown of daisies and confessed to her that I loved this poem....always have. Recently I learned why exactly.
"Oh, and why mortal is it that you love this fantasy above all others?"
ell not above All others but it is one of my favorites. Don't you like it? (A sleek black panther slid up beside her and nuzzled her right thigh in an attempt to be petted. It worked. She stroked the beasts massive head and reclined on her fur couch before starting again)".
"Please, bore me with the particulars of this new conqueror of yours." She smirked but I didnt care.
"Yep. He's new and he may not have conquered but he definitely staked a claim in frontier soil. It has been a minute since I allowed myself to be pursued or since I even really thought I should be pursued know...." Her maid came to my side with tea and cake. I looked down to notice that she had a small blade strapped to her thigh and that she wore a black leather whip at the small of her back. (huh, curious. Who the hell serves tea while armed to the teeth?)
"So, what of this man? Is he strong? Is he a warrior?"
"Well not exactly. But he is a hard worker and he teaches little league. He loves kids and wants to have kids someday"
"And this pleases you?"
She turned up her nose as if she smelled something distasteful and continued. "Are you to produce children with this man?"
I sputtered a bit and spit out my tea. (Did the handmaid just grip her weapon?)
"No! I am not having kids with this man. At least not anytime soon, thank you very much! Hey Sable, what's up with this server and all her weapons and stuff? Something going down I need to know about?"
Sable smiled and leveled a gaze at me.
"You have been practicing your medieval weapons have you not Novice Sovereign?"
Oh shit I thought to myself. Something is about to pop the fuck off.
"Uhm yeah but I just started and Genesis was gonna do some time with the Reaper and Brutes before she got around to really giving me in depth lessons!" I moved to stand and the maid gripped my wrist and forearm slinging me effortlessly into the wall of a crystal cave. I bounced off the wall and landed with a thud on my hands and knees. A foot connected with my ribs, flipping me onto my back. A handspring to the standing position. I locate my opponent and my double edged scythe. My eyes darted about the cave in search of a way out and also on the lookout for other opponents. Maybe this wasn't real and I will wake any minute now to find Sable Genny and Cane chilling at the table having tea and laughing at my slow ass. The maid circled and the music began. My musing ceased and muscles tensed. Fuck! I'm at the damn show! The curtain is coming up and I missed a lot of rehearsals screaming at my ceiling in the last week. Damn that man! Fucking distractions got me about to get my ass beat!
"Look sis, I aint ready for this right now."
She circled me and I kept my gaze on her at all times. I thought about what might be her attack move and wondered how in the hell I was gonna counter attack the muscular fighter.
"Look I'm serious! I aint ready. I havent trained enough, I am not too good with this damn weapon and I really dont think that this is the best way to train someone to fight". The woman straightened her back and spoke one line.
"I came to bring the pain."
The music flooded in and I knew that the time had come.

First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL
Then we let it POP, DON'T LET IT GO
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
X gon give it to ya
He gon give it to ya
DMX-X Gonna Give it to ya
I was nameless, and my power was infinite. I was the variable. The Great Unknown. I am X
"Solve for ME!" We lunged for one another and locked bodies in the air. I felt my body bulk to absurd proportions. Wings ripped from my shoulder blades and great claws presented forcing my weapon from my free hand. She howled as talons tore at her flesh. I rejoiced at her short lived misery. She gained a vantage point and spun away from me. Her flesh healed in an instant once she left my reach. She morphed into a winged creature and her shriek was one of a piercing squall and great burst of blue flame. The brilliance of the fire seared my cornea and I was momentarily stunned. I dropped to the floor and my wings retreated into my body. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them to see with perfect clarity. Saber fangs ripped through my gums and fell forward onto my front legs to race toward the body of the great dragon no opposite me. I connected with her torso and ripped at the thick hide of her body. I sank my teeth in and the metallic taste of her soothed my blood-lust. She howled and swiped at me a great claw. The contact forced my nearly shredded body away from her instantly. I was angry now....
So I face the world like it's Earl in the bullpen
You against me, me against you
Whatever, whenever
What the fuck you gon do?
I'm a wolf in sheep clothing
Only nigga that you know that can chill
Come back and get the streets open
I've been doing this for nineteen years
Niggas wanna fight me? Fight these tears
DMX-X Gonna Give it to ya
Hey folks. I am practicing writing fight sequences and thought I would flex a little on here. Hope ya dont mind to much.... Sorry for the typos and I promise more character depth next time....
So this Sovereign is the unknown One, the great variable, Queen X. What y'all feel about that? Lemme know what ya think....all constructive criticism is encouraged....My writing partner is up on the male counterparts for all my Sovereigns and it is about to get so good in my Chronicle!
Shit, all this from a Pablo Neruda poem---aint that something?
Ya'll be good and stop ducking and dodging Karma, she can bob and weave with the best of them...

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Gretchen Remembers Everything---The Pixie Chronicles

Alright, so the the consensus says that the Pixie stays. Gretchen just woke up and here we go....forgive the typos, I dont edit on the first draft...
Gretchen sat before the two women and wrung her hands even though she wasnt particularly nervous. The Sable One stood and moved from behind the great desk fasioned from the stump of an ancient oak tree. She strode towards Gretchen and spoke...

"Novice Sovereign, you are looking quite well these days. Are you feeling well also?"

"Oh, uhm yes ma'am. I talked to the other lady a little and she says that I have been here for months, that cant be right because I remember meeting her at the club last night." Gretchen stretched a feeble finger towards the Pixie to indicate to the Sable one who she meant.

"Really? So it is the Genesis who inspired you to behave like a maniac in that whorehouse!?" Sable was upon Gretchen now. She had Fury blazing in her eyes and firm lock on Gretchen's memory in order to finally get at the truth of the novice's liberation from her former life. The Pixie was nonchalant and almost bored in spite Sable's anger. She hummed the hook of a new favorite song while the Sable One probed Gretchen's mind for the truth of club blood bath and the origins of the seven blurry eyed and confused women whowere so prone to violence that they bordered on homicidal lunacy.

"You know I really have to agree with the words to that song, Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gansta, by the Geto Boys," Said Genesis. Sable didn't appreciate this remark in the least and slammed her staff into the floor producing a broad crack in the foundation. Gretchen just stared and wondered why she wasn't as afraid as she should be. When Gretchen blinked a bloody reaper's scythe appeared in her hand.
"Now things are about to get interesting," offered Genesis.
This was why Gretchen was not afraid. The knowledge of her true self flowed from her staff into her mind. Her head ached and swam with this violent and new knowledge. She took lives, harvested souls from the Great Cause and she was not about to let fear take this new purpose from her now that she had it. She gripped her destiny and spoke to the Sable Sovereign.

"Look, I dont want to fight. I dont want to keep anything from you. I dont know what is going on but I do remember that night. It's in this Scythe and this Scythe is mine so this knowledge is mine. I will tell you but you have to understand that this is new for me. You have had the benefit of eons to get used to your destiny. I have had about five minutes. I want to learn. I will always provide full disclosure but I want to be taught. Do we have a deal?"
The Sable one moved away from Gretchen to look at her fully.

"We have a deal. What is your name?"
Gretchen closed her eyes and griped the shaft of the Scythe and spoke.

"I am the former Gretchen Thomas and the novice Cane of the Harvest, I am the Reaper Sovereign."
The Pixie smiled her pleasure.

"Wonderful! The clean up crew is homicidal! Hot Damn this shit gets better and better! Hey Sable ask about the others! They crazy as hell too?

"And the others? What of them Reaper?"

"They are the Beautiful Brutes. They Kill-at-will. MY will. On this world we are the embodiment of the elements. We are the vicious and beautiful Storms, The Fury of the Flame, the Raging winds and deathly silence of the waters of life. We are the havoc that leaves the lands fertile. We are the tillers of this wretched soil. We are the seasons of life and change And we will not be stopped.

"Damn! That is the shit right there! I think I am gonna fucking love this place!"

"Quiet Pix! Do you think this is a game? They have natural powers that must be molded and shaped so that they do not leave a conspicuous and bloody mess everywhere they tread! You couldnt even clean up the body count they left at that cat-house!"

"I know but it wont always be like that. She was just trying things on for size that's all. And you heard her, the Brutes obey her. Training, that's all we need. Training Sable. Chill! Damn!"

"Stop speaking to me in that manner and dont lecture me child! I know that training will help but the variables are numerous.

"Just ask about the club. I can't remember everything yet but I know that shit was off the chain!"

"Reaper, what of the club that night?"

Gretchen's eyes flew open and she grinned.

"Mmmm, that night was the best night of my life Queen Sable!"

Gretchen looked up from the table and smiled as she gripped in gloved hands her newly acquired ceramic glocks. The looked small and unassuming but they launched a bullet with the impact of a cruise missile. The music rattled her teeth and made her wet. She entered the her wrong mind and Chaos ensued!
As I walk in the shadow of death
Sixteen men on a dead man's chest
Your host this evening for H-O-T
N-I-X, you get splashed with the Tec
Nobody go, til the God say so
You got a second or mo', to run for the do'
Method Man--Judgment Day
This was her element.
The Sovereign of the Harvest,
The Goddess Reaper took her place next to her mentor and began her work.
The club lit up with the blasts from her hand cannons. The kick was like penetration, rough and brutal, just violent enough to be torture but just this side of torture to be ecstasy.
They came out of the wood work these vermin. She had cheese enough for all the rats tonight.
Mr. Big Mouth, the gat be trout
You need to douche out your style no doubt
Johnny struck through the Shaolin slum
PRUM PRUM PRUM on my Shaolin drum
Niggaz don't dare, to step in the square
Kids ain't playin over here, PLAYA
Only one way, and that's my way
Grim Reaper callin, Judgment Day
Method Man, Judgment Day

The dancers kept at their tasks. Laughing the whole while. The rip of the Pixie's sword cut through flesh with the fury of lightening. The dancers wound their serpentine brown bodies to the song that flooded their minds from the vault of the Sovereign warriors. With every body that fell so too did the shackles of their courtesan existence. The blast of the glock was freedom, every swipe from the Genesis blades empowered them. They screamed their liberation and bounced in time to the music as armor replaced their scant G-Strings.

All at once The Beautiful Brutes were born.

They leaped from the stages and rained hand to hand fury on patrons, and bouncers alike. Platinum knuckle rings dislocated the jaws of drug-dealers, athletes and businessmen. Liars and thieves and cheats who had a date with the Goddess Karma tasted the brutal boots of the blood lusting women.
From behind the bar, came the man all the dancers had referred to as Captain Rage...he pulled a puny piece from the waistband and aimed it at Gretchen who stood casually as he squeezed the trigger. The bullets cruised past her lazily with a seeming lethargy even.
"Bitch are you serious? You call THAT a heater?" She leveled one of the guns at his crotch and smirked. "Well this isnt fair is it? Mine is bigger than yours!" She lowered her weapon and released a bullet into his right knee. He fell to ground howling. "Oh what's wrong Rage? Did that hurt a big swole up brothah like you?" She strutted over and met his jaw with her boot. "Turn over bitch!" He was full on weeping, like a child. He sputtered blood as he tried to hold the shards of his knee in place with trembling hands.

Well that is all for now friends! I couldnt post some parts of it and had to delete some previous parts because it has indeed been getting some serious interest from a few sources. So hopefully this series will live outside of our humble little space in the very near future.Thanks so much for your interest and I will always share with you all some special little piece of The Soveriegn Chronicles before anyone else gets them! That I can promise.

Be Safe and be true, I think Karma has been asking about a few of us in passing.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Fathers Teach Us Even when they Dont.

Contemplation of parenthood... kinda of a journal entry I think....back to sci-fi on tomorrow! I promise.

I had only purposely looked at my birth certificate once in my life, I was about 18 I think. With this genealogy research I looked at it numerous times in order to fill in the particulars of that cool Texas morning that I came quietly into the world. I know why I never really looked at it before. There is a blank space where my father's name should be. I hate that space. I hate it because there is nothing there.

Not even the word unknown.

Am I a random occurrence?

Could I have been placed in a box on the side of the road that read "baby girls for free"?
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passersby could stop, examine me, coo and cuddle and then decide how worth it I am to be claimed. I know that this is not the case, I am being dramatic of course. But on some level I feel random when I think of the men I have had in my life. Please do not feel woeful, I am only pontificating for my own benefit. Plus I have a very permanent fellow attaching himself to me as I write this.
Mainly because of the man in my life right now...(I accepted the key by the way)
I have not been a constant for any of the men in my life in the past and it is not simply because they have not deemed me a constant, but in part I have not behaved in a way that said "I could be a mainstay". When they have said "I want love but not permanence" I have obliged simply because you cannot keep what will not be kept. I have grown to accept and embrace this truth. I can love and not possess, I am used to fleeting male attention and company as a way of life. It is no longer just coping, it is my way. How I live. (Or rather it was up until...I got this permanent smile)
Why this discussion you might ask? Is there some unrequited love?
Yes. My father. I love the idea that someone is tied to me even in their constant absence. I don't love him, even though I am quite apt at loving blank spaces.
Still, he is the one male who is connected to me in a kind of permanence, albeit biologically and not in attendance at the great show of my life.
I found my father (he wasn't lost actually). He is alive and he lives in South Carlina. His phone number is public record. He moved from my late and completely foreign grandmother's home in Houston where he lived for many years with my uncles Glenn and Lee (whom I have never met--I dont think). He has been there and has remained a blank space. I don't ask why, doesn't matter really at 35, he will be 66 next August. I owe him a thank you. Without his absence, without that space where he would be,
I would not know how to depend on me when the men in my life ask me for......SPACE.
Nor would I know what it means to have a man in place who refuses to be absent. A man who refuses to live on the fringes of my life. I am terrified and exhausted by the intensity of his affection and worried but oddly hopeful that our affections may have created ... ...(I'll keep you posted if I get up the nerve to take the test...)

Self discovery is joyful and necessary. but to be discovered by one other than yourself is to feel free and found all at once
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Find your roots, grow new roots and know that Karma has flawless GPS navigation...
cuddle with your favorite Teddy...and meet me back here later!

Friday, November 9, 2007

The Resurrection of the VooDoo Child! Welcome Back Welcome Back Wel-come BACK!

This is not a poem---I dont know what one might call it...

One day recently
I saw someone with liquid brown eyes.

Round and proper, I saw them Searching.

I stared into those pools of forever
and wondered what they looked like closed in sleep or in love.

Those big brown eyes
set in a deep brown face
framing a nose from the past of the Dark Continent.

Remembrances of its bright brilliance
and shining bodies is evident in the deep irises of those eyes.

What would have made these eyes hate that face?

I ran through a pool of my own suffering
and emerged
from the other end of that pool, stripped naked
--a bundle of raw emotion ready to learn,
my skin was loose and eager to dress those well earned battle wounds.

My head was bare and bald.

My muscles were smooth and new.

I walked to the edge of this pool
as the waves of hurt
lapped at my thighs and licked at my hips.

I ran my fingers along the tips
and remembered every assault and affront and heartache.

But instead of weeping I smiled.

My breath was steady and strong,
my cloudy head was clearing,
my body looked new on the outside.

In another life I might have been fine with that status quo
but you see,
My mind had evolved.
I needed for the outside to match the inside
so another Genesis begins.
One to build a sound body (not to mention an ass you could bounce a quarter off of...that's right! I went there...)

The funny thing is that the most recent time anyone saw me in my Goddess skin,

they worshiped me soundly and uhm I do mean soundly.

I was "already perfection" to this cat
and so my interest in rebuilding my temple has little to do with my subjects...

who grow in number daily.

I cant believe that I had avoided this.

That I shunned this vision and fled these emotions.

This day is the day that starts MY day.

I am the VooDoo child, the wild woman, the hell raiser.
I am the conjure woman at the edge of town between here and there.
I am heaven and the nightmare.

All encompassing.

Ever evolving.

Forever loving.

I am yours,
you are mine and we are ours.

I am the real deal,
the trouble maker,
the one momma warned you about,
the one your daddy cant take his eyes off of....

I'm back, I black and I am trouble.

This was for all my fellow Voodoo Children of the Great (God)dess... We dont always come in peace but when we do come the change does you good!
That's all for now friends, be safe and be true. Karma's got your address...

Saturday, November 3, 2007

So Folks Dig the Pixie huh?

Thanks for the feedback on my latest birth--The Pixie. Folks seem to be digging her tough. I am kicking around a few names for her as we speak. I am terrible at naming things to which my _____ offered to name her what he likes to call me. I declined and I ain't telling y'all what that brother screams into the back of my head either...LOL just being a little vulgar, forgive me friends. But I wont share my nickname, it isn't anything really fancy but I like it for myself and so....
Alright so she is of the Pixies and is sort of a hybrid. She is a descendant of Adam's first wife, Lilith. Yeah...that's right. Remember her? Cast aside for a newer sleeker model--Miss Eve. Don't panic my faithful Christian friends. I use biblical references as basis for my science fiction writing because I was raised Baptist and find religion and faith completely and wholly fascinating. It is the ultimate study in humanity in some cases. To hold a faith so dear without every having the tangible or tactile knowledge of it is an amazing attribute of the human animal. Reason even takes a backseat to faith. It's a beautiful thing my friends and it is why I respect all faiths. Think about what you have to let go of to believe what you believe. Logical thought is irrelevant in the face of faith. Jihads and all other manners of holy war are fought for the very reason. Personal battles are overcome by the sheer strength of one's faith. Illnesses cease to ravage bodies because of faith. That is something I would never play with or take lightly. So when I write I do research and study the topic before incorporating it into my fantasies.
The Pixie makes herself known---
The Pixie sat in the so-called Cabaret and felt the pulse of the music cruise out of the overhead speakers. She downed her Cuervo gold in a gulp and waved for the waitress.
Tear the roof off the mother
Yo, yo tear the roof off
Yo, yo tear the roof off
Back up, don't make me shoot y'all
You don't, want to fuck with us, you don't
Method Man, Tear It Off
"Whatchoo need? Another shot or a dance?"
The Pixie glanced over the curves of the pretty brown skinned woman before her and smiled wide.
"How many years are you Lady?"
"How old do you need be to be?" Replied the waitress, smiling wide back at the Pixie. She set the tray down and placed her hands on her full hips rocking back on her left one.
The Pixie sighed and leaned back in her seat, moving her right arm to rest on the back of her chair.
"You are either too young or too old for your chosen profession." The Pixie threw her hand up to stop the girl from speaking before she could finish her thought. "Are you treated well here young lady?"
"It's alright but why so much conversation? Time is money right?" The girl didnt move a muscle. She was strong and confident. She looked to the Pixie that she might have been an athlete at one point. This was good. She would need that athleticism as a recruit for the Pixie's crew. The Pixie reached into the front of her leather tank and produced an absurd wad of cash, slamming it on the table in front of the awestruck girl.
"Sit, listen and then answer. Do you understand Lady?"
The girl complied staring at the cash the whole while.
"Where do you keep your weapon?"
The girl reached into her left boot and produce a small pearl handled 22 and placed it on the table next to the cash.
"Your name?"
"Candy Cane."
The Pixie frowned and reached over to lift the girl's face in order to look into her eyes and asked again. A tear fell down the girl's cheek and she nearly whispered her answer.
"Gretchen Thomas. Everybody here got a fake name and it has to be something like that. You know shit like "baby girl" or "Sin-a-men" or some stupid shit like that. Who are you?" The girl blinked as the tears fell and pressed on. "You something else huh? Like something that is like a angel or something? I dont feel the same. Did you do something to me? Like to my soul or something?" The girl let her head drop on top of her now folded hands on the table and wept. She talked through her tears.
"I'm 25. I been working her since I was about 23 but I been dancing and other stuff like that since I was 13. My momma died I think. I dont know where my sister at. am I dead too? Is this hell? You gonna take me to hell or something? You can't take me nowhere worse so I dont even give a fuck!" The room began to spin and Gretchen reached for her gun. She screamed out loud in voice she didnt know was hers and all went black.
When the girl looked up she was sitting in a comfortable room with the vines of ivies scaling the walls and soothing music wrapping around her. She was wearing a white robe and smelled something good cooking not to far off from her. She felt safe.
She didnt even jump when a chunky and warm looking woman emerged from another room on the left side of her. She quickly moved to her feet and began talking.
"I'm Gretchen. What's this place? This heaven or something? I figure it cant be if I'm here." Gretchen trailed off with a nervous chuckled and rung her hands waiting for an answer.
"You look much better than you did when you got here a few months ago. Gennie was right about you. We do sorta favor. I like you better without all of the make up and ridiculous hair."
Gretchen reached up to feel the curly down of a short afro on her head and ran her hands over her transformed face. The scar that led from her ear to her cheek was gone along with her fake lashes and make-up. despite her situation Gretchen still felt safe but wasn't sure why.
"I been here for months? How many? That lady is named Gennie? Where is she? Who are you? Is this your house?"
I answered the girl slowly as she walked over and placed the tray of food on the table. We have to do something about that grammar soon, I thought to myself.
"Yes this is my place. I share it with the Sable Sovereign and Gennie the Pixie. Gennie, the lady who brought you here is formally called Genesis the Pixie Sovereign. We all call her Gennie though. Eat. You will need your strength for what is to come."
Gretchen sat down and began to devour the pancakes and fruit set in front of her. Between bites she asked questions and grunted answers.
"I'm just gonna live here? I know I cant afford to stay in this place even if we share the bills. Plus if I been here for months, I aint got no job no more." She continued to scoop food into her mouth taking sips of a juice that she had never tasted but now loved.
"It's mango juice and You already live here sister," I replied. "There is no rent or you to pay, we are family. You dont have a job there anymore because the Pixie shut that place down forever. You dont remember what happened? You were there and uhm you helped her do it girl. You two tore that place to pieces and the body count? Sheeeit. I still can't believe that shit! I am so jealous. I just started my serious training but you already way ahead of me. You start medieval weapons with me next week though." Gretchen dropped the pancake that she didnt know was buckwheat and pushed herself away from the table.
"What? I didnt kill nobody! I didnt! I swear I didnt mean to! I mean. I wanted to. I dreamed that I shot somebody I think! Oh God! What happened? The police looking for me?" She was out of her seat now pacing. She glanced at the couch and a stack of clothing and then noticed a black panther watching her lazily before licking her paws and resting her gorgeous and massive black head on them again.
"Hey slow down girl before you choke. Yeah you did kill somebody, Yes you meant to and no it wasnt a dream. The police aint looking for you either. It's more like they dont know it happened... sorta. I'll explain more later but right now, Sable and Genesis are back and wanna talk to you, so eat up get dressed and brace yourself for serious product knowledge baby-sis. It is about to get real crucial."

That's it for now. Sorry for the slow set up but this how I get my abstracts going. How do you like the Pixie's name and title? What about Gretchen? You like the name? She doesnt have a lot of dimension yet but I already like her. and she got something in common with our other girl who still has no name....maybe a naming contest is in order? Next time it is all about action y'all I promise!
Something I am pondering right now----To take his apartment key or not to take his apartment key...that is the question....

Be safe and Be True, I think I hear Karma knocking...