Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Shameless Self Promotion and some Personal Stuff

Click on the link to THE ULTRAVIOLET UNDERGROUND in my blog roll to download the Winter Issue of PURPLE Magazine.
There is a Short story written by yours truly within its Lovely Pages!--I sometimes write under the name
T.S.Snowden

The Short story is called Persephone3 so check me out yall and give my girl and her righteous magazine a shout out! I love YOU PurpleZoe!
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Now on to new business. I dont discuss a lot of personal stuff, well, I do but usually it is about stuff that makes me mad and even then it is written as a violent fight scene. Anyway a fellow asked me a bunch of questions about myself.... or was it just one question? I can't tell but I can say that however it happened I talked quite a bit about myself which is highly uncharacteristic of me with people I work with. I have made a friend of one other person in much the same capacity at work and funny enough he is the closest friend of this other fellow (clear as mud, right?).

Anyway, I thought about my cynicism during the conversation and realized that I had made some sort of transformation over the last year. My cynicism has abandoned me it seems. I used to have serious beef with love. I mean serious beef, especially during a hard six months of this year.
But now I notice that I really dig love and not only that, it seems that I love love. I actually love attending weddings (although I will likely never have one. Mostly because I could absolutely stay with someone forever without an actual wedding. I'll get into this one day but not today. That center of attention thing does a number on me also. I didnt even tell anyone when my graduation day was for my second degree because of all the fuss they made over me about the first one.)

Anyway...I like love. I feel good about it and when it hits again I rather think I shall be excited and happy. Not like my usual self where I realize it and then work to shut the feeling down before the object of affection notices me stalking them.
About this love thing.
The idea of age came up in conversations with both fellows.
You know for all of my empowered woman talk I still hold a few antiquated notions about gender relations and propriety. Hey, I am enlightened enough to admit that I too get stuck in old ways of thinking. So after my meditations today I thought I might examine my outdated views on dating in these oh so progressive times. I made a REVISED list of what I like in a fella. This list is as follows
  1. Funny(not just funny to himself! Funny to me)
  2. Intelligent--like nerd intelligent not that psuedo-shit that fake revolutionaries tout as intelligence.
  3. Attentive--many people wouldn't know it but I am extremely sensitive (even though I dont cry much). I like singular attention and can be pretty possessive. Not like "who is that bitch you're talking to" possessive but in my mind I have a certain idea of ownership when it comes to the people who are close to me.
  4. generous. Not like monetarily, although.....no I mean with time (no I dont need tons of time because I tend to disappear into myself for long periods). But I do need to be looked after more than I care to have known. My periods of hibernation should monitored so that I am prompted to resurface now and again.
  5. creative--I notice creative types deal best with other truly creative types. Period. There is a whole mindset that goes with this. I need to know that my off the wall ideas about alternate realities will not be dismissed as child's play. I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my shit (to quote Badu).
  6. supportive--this includes himself. If He cant sustain himself mentally and physically then we wont do well together(this was a good lesson to learn this year). No halves need apply! I am already whole and I want a whole man from the jump. I always wince when people say "My other half". I think that is absurd. So without the other person you are less than a full person? Well I dont know about you but the Great Deity made me complete from the start. The loss of a loved one should never cripple us but make know the value of that love by keeping their memory wholly close to us. The loss should not make us some wounded and incomplete being. Of course if the Deity you worship deals in half measures then more power to you... Now right about here is where I would usually add some nonsense about them being no more than a year younger and up to 12 years older until I realized that my energy level doesn't typically match this age group. I love to move around. I go to concerts, hike and travel as much as possible and to be honest I have yet to find a man my age who can keep up. Sad but true. So enough of that junk.
  7. Energetic and appropriate for me regardless of age.
No more lazy-ass men! I mean dudes whose bodies and minds limit them and stifle me. UGH! I just cant do it again and so I wont. Man I learned a ton this year. I made the choice to subject myself to the sort of people I thought I should be with rather than the kind of people who really add to my oh-so-lively and lovely existence. People have every right to be how they want. The choice is ours to let them into our space or not. This last year was about me not choosing ME over something that was counter to who I am. My flaw! not anyone else's. I have to own that, and I have.

Own your shit friends because the life you AINT living is damn sure your OWN.
That is all for now my lovelies.
I promise, science fiction comes next time! Promise!
Be Safe and be true. Remember that Karma plays debt collector so WE dont have to....
I love you all!
Peace.

3 comments:

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

woman i feel ya and u know i aint mad LOL

Tha L said...

wonderful self-awareness, momma. And what you say about Karma is oh so true!! *smooch*

Mizrepresent said...

Gurl, your list is the truth...Have a great weekend!